My Top 20 Best Moments of 2010!!

Wow the year is almost over already! Time does fly when you're having fun. It was a good year. I had some moments that stalled, but didn't stop me. There were no pity parties allowed in my 2010, and I'm proud I didn't let those bad days turn into bad weeks/months.

I was going to do a list of my good and bad moments of the year, but decided to focus on the moments that made me smile, the moments that added to my life and the moments that I will treasure forever. Who cares what went wrong or what didn't happen the way I hoped? That was my plan. God had different things in store for me, and I choose to take time out right now to appreciate my gifts.

My Top 20 BEST Moments of 2010

1. Starting my blog. I'm a very private person and was scared to open up. However, I love to write and found that I had a voice for single people that needed to be heard. Now, you just can't shut me up!! L
2. The JayZ concert. HOVA! HOVA! The best concert of 2010 hands down! He's a great performer and makes the crowd feel like we received a special VIP invitation to party with him. Had a great time with my homegirl Steflova!
3. My sister's engagement. From the moment her and Will met, it was inevitable that they would be husband and wife. I'm excited and privileged to be a part of their wedding day in 2011. Bring it!
4. Saying goodbye to Brian. Woo woo woo. Never thought this day would come. It was a friendship that developed into something more than NOTHING. Ending the friendship was one of the best days of my life. It was freeing. Funny thing is that this week he's been calling and I keep ignoring his call. He must have a feeling that he's about to miss his ride into my 2011. BON VOYAGE my love...
5. Realizing who my "real" friends are. Nuff said!
6. Black Friday Tomfoolery! Once again we braved the cold to get a laptop and printer. Every year we say we are not going to ever do it again, but....Will we be in a line of cold fools November 27, 2011? Stay tuned...
7. My new printer and laptop. It was worth the wait :-)
8. Front row with Trey Baby. So close I could touch him. I started in the 2nd row, but jumped into the 1st when the lights went out. The concert was blah, but seeing my celeb crush that close was priceless.
9. My GNO's with Natalie. This year I have spent more qualitytime with my cousin. During our Girl's Night Outs, we have shared laughs and stories of pain. It helps to have someone in your life that you can be openly real with. I have enjoyed our talks and look forward to more in the new year.
10. Dancing!!! Drop it low, drop it low. It's my all-time favorite thing to do and no matter how I am feeling, when a song comes on I choose to dance. I predict that in 2011 I will dance more than I have in previous years, esp on July 23, 2011 (big grin).
11. Bianka turning 21! It's been a long hard road, but my baby is not a baby anymore. Its been 14 years since she came into my life, and I cherish every moment. Love her beyond words.
12. My new haircut. I took risks in 2010 and tried new things. Forget ordinary, I'm extraordinary! Loved my new do even before the compliments. I wonder what hairstyle I will have in 2011??? Maybe a new color?? We shall see.
13. My Birthday. Always my favorite time of the year. Again, I had a ball and felt the love. The good thing is that you get another year to do it all over again...the countdown begins--4 months until my birthday!
14. Finding out that Brandon and Jamal are JERKS!! God opened my eyes this year and cleared space that was being taken up by people who did not deserve my time. I thought that these 2 dummies were friends, but they lied to me. Lies to me to are the 8th deadly sin. Disgusting!! Wish them both well, but they too don't get to ride the Sweet P train into 2011.
15. I bowled a 127!! Who knew?? Usually I only bowl once year for my birthday. One day I met up with my girl Chelle and got some pointers that helped me keep my ball out of the gutter. I even got a strike! I plan to bowl more in 2011. It's so much fun. Maybe I will join a league. LOL!
16. My 1 date. Yes, it didn't amount to anything, but I got out and had a little fun with someone new. I predict that I will have more dates in 2011. Shoot I better!!!!
17. Run Tell That winning the Championship!! It was a great basketball season for my team. Being the "manager" was fun and I enjoyed doing the recaps. I promise to be more consistent with them next time :-/ I look forward to the spring season.
18. Meeting Karlton. Aww! He opened me up to so much this year. I tried new things and had fun. He was a seasonal fling, but I learned the lessons that I needed and have no regrets. He so boosted my confidence in so many ways. He will be missed fondly, but the good thing is even thinking about him now...I smile.
19. My "modification." An unexpected blessing right before the new year. To God be all the Glory!!
20. Finally seeing the beauty in me. Loving the me that HE made me to be. I'm content. I'm happy. I'm ready for everything that 2011 has in store for my life and plan to enjoy the ride (even if it gets bumpy).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Thank you for your support and taking the time to read my blog. I can't wait to see what 2011 has to offer. My guess is that it will be AMAZING....on purpose!

*Sweet P*

R.I.P. Lady T

Teena "Lady T" Marie

March 5, 1956 - December 26, 2010

This is one of my favorites....

Yesterday we lost a precious songbird: Teena Marie. She has been a major part of my good days when I rock out to songs like "Square Biz"; my bad days by lifting my mood with songs like "Irons in the Fire;" and sad days when I cry over past loves to songs like "Casanova Brown." I'm devastated to hear of her death.

The Lovergirl will be missed dearly. She had a spirit that made you smile at the sound of her voice. I pray now for her family and friends that every day brings them closer to peace and understanding. Shocking and sad, but her legacy of love that she left us all will live forever.

Tell someone you love them today, for tomorrow is definitely not promised...

*Sweet P*

Having a Cute Day...

I know you call me beautiful, but I don't always believe it.

I know you find me sexxxy, but I don't always feel it.

You say I'm a pretty young thang, but some days I think I'm just aiiight.

Yes I have that walk and talk and swing of the head that makes people THINK I know I got it goin' on....

But don't be fooled! Most days it's just a mirage.

This black swan was once an ugly duckling.

Back in the day, beauty didn't come in this complexion and have this texture hair.

I was the good friend. The on the shelf girl. The ride or die chick,

But never your most prized jewel.

When I was younger, only my mother called me beautiful,

And I figured she was biased since I looked just like her.

Know that your compliments are treasured gold nuggets that I keep in my pockets.

(They are spilling over by the way).

Over the years, I learned to smile and say thank you rather than question your motives.

Not too long ago, the scars of the past finally healed.

And today...TODAY, I think I see what you see.

*Sweet P*

I'm Dating Loneliness during the Holidays

I'm reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. She is a great author. There are some history lessons that I can do without, but she has left me with little chunks of life lessons that I'm using to take Phyllis to the next level. She forces you to look at the you in the mirror that you pretend is not looking back at you. I don't think it's by accident that I started reading this during the holiday season. God has a way of ordering my steps so that I'm standing upright and walking straight into my blessing.

The holidays can be lonely and sad at times. Yes, I can admit that I have my moments of "Bah Humbug!" The Lexus commercials where the husband shows the wife the car with the big red bow. All the jewelry commercials and the babies with their holiday cheer. It can beat a single person over the head. I've had a few melancholy days lately. I refuse to wallow in it though, so I give myself a pep talk and go deep in prayer mode. Honestly, from November-January God and I have the longest, most frequent conversations than any other months throughout the year.

Okay so here is where I begin being real with me....In the past years, my loneliness has caused me to talk to folks that I don't really like or hang out with people that I know are not good for me. This is how the unhealthy friendship that I let go of recently lasted over 10 years. Each year I would be so done with him, but the holidays come around and....yada yada yada.Yes, I have my family and friends, but there is something about having someone to hold, even if they are not yours to keep. I can see how people fall off the wagon during the holidays. You try to fill the empty space with something warm.

This is the first time I'm going into the holiday completely solo. I plan to ride the loneliness out. Rather than deny its existence, I'm learning to deal with it and find ways to cope that don't involve other people. I will embrace the activities that make me happy, like reading and writing, dancing to music videos in my living room, cooking all my favorite foods and baking sweet treats, laughing with my family and friends, cleaning (yes this brings me such joy), watching movies...the list goes on and on.

I would rather hug loneliness than kiss regret. Like Elizabeth says in her book, 

"When I get lonely these days, I think: "So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."

Me and loneliness have a date this weekend and I'm making heart shaped sugar cookies. Yummy!

*Sweet P*

Cheers to you!!

Watching the Heat/Cavs game and the fans are boo-ing Lebron. Why??? What did he do? He thought of himself first and turned his back on his team. Isn't this what many people do everyday? Why are they giving him so much energy? This is exactly what he wants.

I see the bigger picture...If you really want to make the enemy shake, ignore him. Don't even look his way. What they need to do is cheer for him when he comes out. He would not know what to do about that. That would mess his game all up. Yay Lebron!!! We love you!!! He would be like WTH!!!

Don't ever let the enemy know they have gotten to you. Then they win. The whole stadium is up on their feet right now waving their towels....its sad because its been almost a year and they are holding a grudge over someone they have never met in person. Someone whose existence does not determine whether or not they will wake up to see another day.

Okay typing that just moved soemthing in my spirit....

Its Thursday and I've had a rough week at work dealing with someone that I can't stand to be in the same room with. It just occurred to me that she's my Lebron and I'm like these fans. The whole week is gone and I gave her everything I had this week and none of it was worth it. I'm sure she went home and rested easy while I went to bed with a headache. Hmph! Isn't God amazing....how He can show you how stupid you are through people and things around you.

I honestly didn't even see it until I started typing this...lesson learned. Tomorrow I'll high five her when she comes in the door and wave my sign that says, "Way to go!!" I'm gonna force her to foul out of the game, and I'm going home with the win.

GAME OVER!!

*Sweet P*

December 1, 2010: World AIDS Day

In 1996, I volunteered with a program that worked to make children and families infected and affected with HIV/AIDS smile. We took their minds off their illness and reminded them that in the midst of everything, they still had a life to live. We wanted them to live it while laughing. Before working with the program, I was pretty ignorant to the disease. I never knew anyone who was infected or understood fully how hard it was to live in a world where people shunned you simply for being HIV+.

Between now and then, I have lost many to this dreadful illness. It angers and disgusts me that this virus still exists in this world. If I could have one wish, it would be for a cure. That is all. I have seen the face of HIV and AIDS and it looks just like me. These people are not bad. They are not evil. They are beautiful. They are precious. They are battling day in and out with something that is constantly fighting against them.

The number of people dying from the disease is decreasing, but AIDS is still killing millions of people across the world and the number of new cases of HIV is still entirely too high. Not everyone has the money that Magic Johnson has to take the meds that make him "look healthy." However, there are many drugs that regular people can afford that can prolong their lives. HIV is not a death sentence like it was back in the day. You can live a long life if you begin your treatment early.

With that said, all I want for Christmas this year is for you to...

1. Know your status. Get tested today!
2. Use condoms. ALWAYS protect yourself.
3. Embrace someone infected with HIV/AIDS. They need love too.

AND...

If you are infected, do not give up hope. Live each day to the fullest because I believe in miracles...

Please visit http://www.worldaidsday.org/ for more information on how you can spread awareness and get involved in the fight for a cure.

*Sweet P*

Is this love?

There have been very few remakes that impress me. This song is one of my favorites from Bob Marley and Corinne Bailey Rae does it justice. Simply beautiful. I've been a fan of hers and I will stay a fan. I've loved her since I first heard her melodious tone. Her voice whispers sweet somethings in my ears.Today for some reason, I just can't stop listening to this song. It has me daydreaming and thinking of.....

An AH HA moment ;-)

I love quotes and have some of my favorites listed on this blog. Here is my new fav that I love, love, love, love, love....I've heard it many times, but just finally digested it. One of those AH HA moments indeed!

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that YOU love, well…that's just fabulous."

~Carrie Bradshaw, "Sex and the City"

So thankful...

What a year! I'm getting ready to head out soon for some Black Friday shopping tomfoolery and it just hit me that the year is almost over. I have so much to be thankful for today. I have allowed many things on my to do list and things on my need to improve list get in the way of appreciating some of the blessings that have been placed in my life this year and some of the burdens that have been removed. This time last year I was holding onto a relationship that had taken so much from my spirit. It drained me to love this person more than they even loved themselves. We were not a couple, yet we shared a bond that had a hold over me so strong, it was suffocating.

This year when I began this journey to complete self-love, I evaluated our relationship (for the millionth time) and decided it was time to say goodbye. Not sure why it took me so long, but the moment I did it I knew it was the perfect time for me. Now I'm going into a new year FREE for a change. Free from the drama and the shame of a friendship that died a long time ago. Leaving behind lessons learned the hard way and feeling hopeful and excited about my future.

Happy Thanksgiving!! To God be the glory...

*Sweet P*

10 Things Men Don't Do Anymore

Like I said in my last post, things surely have changed in this dating game. Here are a few observations from my experiences with men that I have "dated" over the past few years (I have to admit that the sample size is very small LOL)

My Top 10 Things Men Don't Do Anymore

1. Approach women: They look at you and check you out from a distance, but don't come up to you and try to get to know you.
2. Call: Men don't call you to talk. They are more comfortable texting. I'm old school and like to communicate in sound.
3. Buy Flowers: I can't remember the last time I got flowers just because. I only get them as a make up gift. SMH!
4. Pick you up: Every man I've met recently wants to "meet up" somewhere. Come get me fool!
5. Take you out on the first date: If I hear one more time, "I want to see you. How 'bout I come by to chill?" OR "Do you want to come over and chill at my house?" I'm going to scream!
6. Greet you at your front door: Please don't text me saying that you are outside. Park. Get out. Ring my doorbell like a gentleman. WTH!
7. Pull out chairs or open doors: Many even will sit down before you do. I just don't get it.
8. Offer to buy snacks at the movies: I know that it's expensive, but plan accordingly and be prepared if she says yes. You can't just pass by and not say anything.
9. Surprise you. Men don't plan anymore. Show up with a card. Dedicate a song. Plan a spontaneous evening with dinner and music. Think beyond your PS3 or XBox!
10. Dress the part. Take more pride in your appearance. Shower and shave. Wear a nice shirt. Put on some nice cologne. Act like you are trying to impress me.

If you are interested, show me!

Once upon a time when I was top dog on my dating game, I never questioned whether a man was interested in me or not. Not only did he show me with his actions, but he told me with his words. Now what he was interested in may not have been what I wanted, but at least there was no question mark where he name was. Fast forward to today and I'm finding that I'm meeting men that are jigsaw puzzles and the pieces just don't fit. I have conversations with girlfriends and we can't figure men out. He seems to be into me, but why doesn't he call when he says he will? He asked for my number, but all he does is text? We have long conversations on the phone, but we have yet to go out on a real date? What's the deal?

Here are a couple of case studies that will help me illustrate my confusion:

1. The Texter: A couple weeks ago he "texted" me again asking if he could call me. I found this ha-larious. Why not just call? Better yet, why do you still even have my number when we met almost a year ago and went out on one date and have talked maybe once since? Anyway, for my sister's entertainment I texted back, "Sure!" He then calls and asks me if I still have his number in my phone and remember him. Just laughable. It took me a minute to remember his real name, for he will forever be "Texter" in my mind. He then goes on to tell me that he missed me and wanted to hook up that evening. Missed me? You don't know me! And if you were interested in getting to know me, why have you only texted me over the course of the year? Anyway, so I play along and say where does he want to meet up. (I have no intention of meeting up with this man, wrong I know, but who cares). He said that he was at a bar way out in VA and wanted me to meet him there. I'm laughing now just thinking of how ridiculous this sounds. I told him I would be there in a couple hours....I guess he's still waiting for me. LOL! He texted me last week asking why I "stood him up." I decided to treat him like the telemarketers and Opt-Out of this communication so that I can "avoid receiving unsolicited product or service information in the future." LOL!

2. The Weirdo: Now this is a friend of a friend. I have not had the pleasure of dating him, but I am very familiar with this peculiar case. So they met at a gathering over a year ago. Nice guy. I was thinking that this was a great match. They have had great conversations on the phone and went out on a couple cool dates. Okay well fast forward to today and NOTHING! If she suggests that they hang out, he goes, but he has not taken initiative to do anything with her or made any clear advances towards her. My observation would be that he is not interested, but then he sends the occasional text or they have conversations that suggests otherwise. At this point, she is tired and done, which is unfortunate. Like I said he is a really nice guy, but who has time to wait on you to make a move.

So many unanswered questions. Like in the case of The Texter, I deleted your number and did not respond to your texts, but you want to know why. Why not? Why would I communicate with someone who does not want to get to know me? From past experiences and advice from my "good guy" friends, I have determined that if a man is interested in a woman and vice versa, there is no question. There is no wondering. There is no trying to figure him/her out. You just know. They show you and they tell you. Don't waste any more time on that man or woman that you are currently "hanging out" with if you are unsure of where the relationship/friendship is headed. I would hate for you to be wondering and get your answer when you get an invitation to their wedding in the mail :-/

*Sweet P*

Please send congratulations, not condolences

So yesterday I announced the wondrous engagement of my sister...

Steph and Brolaw got congratulations. Mom got congratulations. Even Dad, who...well....He got congratulations. I on the other hand had several calls from family wanting to "see how I was doing." WTF!!! How am I doing? What do you mean? She's my sister and I am happy for her. Excited that she found such an amazing man to spend the rest of her life with. But no, my family wants to waste my time babbling on and on about how "my time is coming."

Now this is what I was afraid of. At my cousins wedding a couple weeks ago, if one more person said to me when are you getting married or when is your big day, I was going to take my 3-inch heel and stab them in the eye. Why is it that someone else's life puts the spotlight on what I DON'T have in my life. Can we focus on the MPH after my name and not the MRS that's missing before it? Don't get me wrong, I am human and yes all these engagements and weddings increase my desire to be in a relationship and to be loved by one man. However, it also increases my desire to hold out for the real thing. I have seen love and I refuse to settle for anything less.

There is a line from the last "Twilight" saga where the wolfboy tells the stupid vamp groupie, "It would be as easy as breathing with me." That has stuck with me ever since. I have dated men that make me have asthma attacks. Currently, there is no one around and I breathe deep. The man who comes into my life that God has kept for me will make sure I never have to use my inhaler again.

Being single is HARD!!! I wish people would be more sensitive and understanding. Yesterday was supposed to be a happy day and it did start out that way, but I did have moments of wishing I was in a bubble far far away, unable to communicate with ANYONE. I only had 2 calls today. I wish I had a way to screen my calls with a vmail that said, "If you are calling to rejoice with me in my sister's happiness, hang up, call back and I'll answer. However, if you are calling to check on me because she's younger than me and getting married before me and I am 30+ and still single and with no kids, hang up, go to the nearest bridge and jump off please. Thanks!"

Woooooosahhhhh!

*Sweet P*

My sister is ENGAGED!!!

I have wanted to blog on this for a while now, but controlled my excitement. My sister and her boyfriend of two years are officially engaged! It happened at midnight this morning on their 2 year anniversary. I stayed up like it was Christmas Day waiting for the word. That's when Brolaw texted me a pic of the the ring on her finger. It was finally done! Woo woo woo...I am so happy for them. It's a love that gives me hope. I'm glad that she didn't settle and that she got the love that she deserved.

A few years ago I had a year of a million weddings. That time is back around again. Between October and December of next year, I have several weddings...all close relatives...It's 27 Dresses Part Duex! After this sequel, I pray that my dress in Part 3 is white (or pale pink LOL).

Let the planning begin...

*Sweet P*

AG™: My cousin, my friend, my breath of fresh air

I had a conversation with my very distinguished cousin yesterday over BBM. He is the only male cousin I have that I actually like LOL! He was born and raised in London, yet we are so much alike, its freaky. Anyway, we are both still living the single life and occasionally check in with one another for support and laughter. He has no idea how much his presence in my life (although physically distant) means to me. Many times I have been in a funk and got a message from him that pulled me from the edge. His future wife will be soooo blessed to have him as a husband. The conversation started with him complimenting my updated profile pic of me and my sister and me in turn giving him props for the cute profile pic of him as a little boy...

AG™: Y'all are so pretty ...
AG™: Can u sing?
Sweet P : LMBO!!!
Sweet P : Thanks
Sweet P : And no we cannot
Sweet P : But I can dance ;;)
AG™: LOL
AG™: Shuck and jive?
Sweet P : Drop it low...
AG™:  :-O
Sweet P :  LOL
AG™: I can't wait to come over and see u in action ....
AG™: This gonna be fun !
Sweet P : The wedding last week I was on the floor all night
Sweet P : All night!!
Sweet P : That's a pic from the wedding
Sweet P : Yes you will see me work next year
Sweet P : By Gods grace
AG™: Ok...it make sense....y'all are 'Glowing !'
AG™: Amen
Sweet P : Glowing?
Sweet P : Wow
Sweet P : Nice
AG™: Yup
Sweet P : Now your pic.....I absolutely love
Sweet P : Love love love
Sweet P : It makes me smile big
AG™: Lol
Sweet P : Always had "swag"
Sweet P : Although I hate that word
Sweet P : You define it
Sweet P : LOL
AG™: LOL ..awww ...thanks..
AG™: Back when things were simple :)
AG™: Its all good though...now its Aaron's turn
Sweet P : And the swag gene has been passed down. Hopefully he can control the power of it better Hahah
AG™: LOL
AG™: Hmmm
AG™: U funny
Sweet P : LOL! Its a strong force and needs to be in the hands of someone who can control all that comes with it. Its taken you a while to drive straight
Sweet P : LOL
Sweet P : I'm cracking myself up
AG™: Hmmmm....
AG™: Keep going...
Sweet P : So you do see what I'm saying right?
Sweet P : We are given gifts and sometimes we don't know what to do with them
Sweet P : I'm right there with you
Sweet P : Now knowing what you know, save Aaron from himself
AG™: I HEAR you sis
AG™: I sooo hear that ....I'm already on that trust me ;)
Sweet P : Good! Because he's a cutie and I know some little girl is going to one day tell him so and make things so easy for him
Sweet P : Little does he know easy comes with a price
Sweet P : He needs to go for the one he has to work hard for
Sweet P : The one who pays him no mind
Sweet P : LOL
Sweet P : Tell him his Auntie P said so
AG™: LOL
AG™: I was literally telling him that today... Both of us have started praying together for his wife...and I explained to him why and why he needs to pray to God to be connected with 'his wife' ....
Sweet P : I love that
Sweet P : That's wonderful!
AG™: I don't want to ignore the truth and inevitable just because he is young...he is cognisant enough to know more than he should... And as you said ..'With power comes responsibility'
Sweet P : YESSSSS!
AG™: If these seeds are sewn now...when the need arises it will germinate and we shall see what God will complete
Sweet P : He is so lucky to have a Dad who is rooted in the right hand of God
Sweet P : What a precious gift you are giving him so early?
Sweet P : And I'm certain he will pass it down to his children too
AG™: We are both blessed
AG™: And I thank God for all around me ...those near and far ;)
AG™: And I have to tell him...when I go to meet my maker...I know I'll have to give account...and I don't want my 'lessons' to go in vain....
Sweet P : There will be mistakes along the way and lessons learned after the fact, but I'm sure he will be fine. I'm excited about his future!
AG™: Yes there will be...there are...in fact as we read the bible two days ago with him...I explained that I make mistakes and that we all do and that we need to repent... So we prayed together...I asked him his thoughts on it etc.. And then when I gave a talk at Church, I made reference to him and 'the chat' and he was so excited and grinning...so it has been tough but when I see God literally speaking through him... I am amazed and brought to tears..so I am excited for his future but for the future of ALL. OUR unborn children !
Sweet P : YESSS! My twins. Taylor Rose and Tyler Moses
AG™: Awwwww
Sweet P : But seriously in case you don't hear it every single day like you should....you are an amazing father
Sweet P : Thanks for the example
AG™: Awww...thanks so much...that means a lot because it is not easy and it has tested me like nothing else ever could...but I really thank God because if it were not for him, there is no way I would have stuck at it especially having to deal with his mom...it is literally God's Grace..and I thank him :D
Sweet P : Where would any of us be without Him? I don't even want to think about the answer to that. Thanks for the honesty cuz! You always have a way of making me think you are here on the sofa with me chatting and not an ocean away.
Sweet P : Matter of fact...I hope you don't mind but I'm gonna share this convo on my blog. Such a blessing!
AG™:  Awww.. Ditto everything.. Go for it ...

Woo woo woo...Now you know why he's my cousin, my friend and my breath of fresh air. Thank you BBM for keeping rthis relationship close for FREE!! LOL!

*Sweet P* (FYI: This "S" is my new symbol. I love it!)

Just Call Me Superwoman ;o)

Happy Monday Beloved!

Not sure why I'm in such a good mood, but it may have to do with my heroic start to the day....

I was walking to the metro this morning and noticed two small children in a running car. They had to be about 3 and 6. I looked around and could not see anyone that looked like they were with them. My thinking was that the irresponsible parent was in the 7-11 getting something really quick and didn't want to be bothered with them. I found 2 police officers and told them the situation. I must admit I was hesitant because I didn't want to get anyone in trouble. However, for the sake of the children I had no choice but to be a snitch.

When I got to the top of the metro platform I looked down to see the officers gone and I got angry thinking they didn't stay with the kids. I was about to go back down (I really need to shake this save the world mentality that I have LOL) then I saw the mother walking towards the car with the two little boys. The officers had taken them in the store to her. I was so relieved. I'm sure that she's done that a million times, but the world we live in is not safe. Anything can happen. Maybe I’ve watched one too many Lifetime movies or Law & Order: SVU episodes OR maybe I am just becoming my more and more like my mother. I hope that she learned a lesson this morning and this doesn't happen again.

Saving children everywhere with my “S” in my chest....

*Sweet P*

Very good advice from Oprah...

On the 9/27/10 episode of "Oprah," here is what Ms. Winfrey said to Serena Williams:

Men

"Men want to feel that they are needed and they need to feel important, and it's very hard to do that with a powerful woman. It takes a very special guy to do that."

Love, love, love this statement! There is a great deal that comes with Sweet P. I have been living this fantabulous life with myself for so long and I have learned to do so much by and with myself...because I don't have a choice. When something is broken, I find a way to fix it. When a problem arises, I look to God to help me find a solution. When I need a good cry, I have Maxwell (my bed) to lean on. Having a man that is there with a lending hand takes some getting used to when you are a woman who is capable of so much. Like Oprah says, that special one for me will know that there is more than enough room for him in my life and he will understand (and be grateful) that I can take care of myself....thereby taking care of us. I, in turn, will learn to ask for help and honor his place "our world."

Love

"You cannot pretend to be less than what you are and you are so HUGE. You carry such a big light. You can't go around dimming your light just to be walking around with somebody else. What you really want is to be completely full of yourself, so your cup runneth over, so you can give it to other people. Not in an arrogant way, but that you absolutely own you own power."

Thank you for that Oprah! There is so much that I have to offer and if a man cannot take it all in, then he is not man enough for me. I refuse to settle or be someone I am not for the sake of having a man in my life. I really needed to hear that.

Now I will carry on...

*Sweet P*

The Chilean Miners: And these are the days of our lives....

Okay so here is an update that I just read on the cheating miners:

In addition to the one I mentioned, reportedly, "5 other miners had their lovers there and fighting and arguing went down (off camera of course) about who had a right to be there and a right to any of the fame/riches that came with this rescue." WOW!!! And this is what my homegirl was trying to avoid. Glad she was smart enough to stay home.

Now I am so happy to hear that not everything was full of drama on site:

"1 miner finally got to meet his baby girl who was born right before his rescue. Another met his fiance he proposed to while in the mine. And another got a marriage proposal from his girlfriend--after she turned him down weeks before." Awww! How sweet! That really warms my heart. I love happy endings, even if they are in divorce court.

Can't wait to see what else develops. This is better than Lifetime Movie Network.

I can't stand Russ Parr!!

There has been so much hype in the news about the 33 men trapped underground in Chile, but my main focus has been that they were able to survive this terrible ordeal. Now I just heard a radio personality make a comment that made me furious, and I can't tell him off, so I'm blasting him on here ;)

Okay so a few days after the men were trapped it came out that one of them had a mistress. Her dumb butt decided to come to the site and the wife confronted her. It's amazing how what you do comes to light at the most convenient, or in this case inconvenient, time. Anyway, as time went on a total of 5 men have been busted for cheating. Mistresses why couldn't you just sit home and play the part you were so willing to play for so long??? SMH!!

So the first wife who has been married to her husband for 28 years decided not to meet her husband when he was rescued since the mistress, who he invited, was going to be there as well. He wanted them both to be there when he got out. HUH??? So after 2 months, he is rescued and greeted with open arms by his mistress while his wife is home probably watching "Dancing with the Stars," since she decided not to be there or even watch it on TV. LOL!

Today Russ Parr makes the most ignorant comment that has me livid (and let me say I can't stand this show, but happened to be switching stations and heard this bullcrap). He said that the wife was wrong to not meet her husband at the rescue. WHAT?? WHY??? Why is she the wrong one? This bamma not only was cheating with his old tail, but he did not even show any remorse for it. That's straight up betrayal! She said that she was happy he was okay and that's all she needed to know and when he comes home he needs to make a decision. Clearly with the embrace I saw him give the mistress when he got out, his decision is made.

Now Mr. Parr...tell me again why this wife is wrong? Some women would have been there to push his behind back in the hole when he got out. In order to keep the peace, she made a wise choice to fall back. I applaud her for being a woman of honor because this here woman would have been at the rescue with my punching gloves.

Russ Parr, please just shut up!!

*Sweet P*

Miracles do happen

Well the 33 Chilean men are finally out. Oh happy day! To be underground for 2 months and survive is nothing but the work of God. One of the miners said in a letter, “There are actually 34 of us because God has never left us down here." GLOOOOOORY!!!

Life is short and I will not work it away

I just got a call that a woman I know died suddenly yesterday. I've known her for only a short time, but what I do know is that she was dedicated to the work that she did. She was ALWAYS at work, even when she was sick. If there was something that needed to be done, she was the one to do it and everyone knew her. I honestly have no idea how old she was. I believe that she appeared older than her true age. Working late hours in a stressful environment will do that to you. Another thing to mention, she was single and had no children. She lived alone. She died alone. She was found in her apartment on the floor and who knows how long she had been there. A friend was supposed to pick her up yesterday and she did not answer the door. Very sad...She had a good heart and a good spirit. She gave until her death, even when she had nothing left to give.

She worked until she died and died with no one. I know this sounds depressing, but for me it was a reminder to live life to its fullest. I tend to stress over things at work, work crazy hours, forget to eat lunch at times and never use up my vacation/sick leave. All for a place that when I am gone will send out a 2 sentence email to everyone saying that my work was exemplary and I will be missed by everyone. It's not worth it.

I am happy that this woman will finally rest in peace. This all comes at an interesting time. I believe God is working something amazing in my favor very soon and He is showing me the road that I must follow to live a purposeful life....the life I was destined to live.

Praising Him in advance!!!!!

*Sweet  P*

Introducing my boobies...Coco & Baps ;)

I have 2 very special beings in my life--my breasts. I call them Coco and Baps. They have been so good to me throughout the years and I give back to them by making sure they have the support they need at all times. They reward me by always being perky and happy. Every month, sometimes twice a month, I do a self breast exam to make sure that my girls are healthy. In our community, breast cancer is killing our women (and men) and we can catch the disease early. All it takes is a few minutes of your time to feel yourself up. Heck! I'm sure you do this during the month anyway. Why not make it more worthwhile?

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! A breast self examination (BSE) is to be performed each month in addition to an annual mammogram or a clinical exam. Knowing your boobies,what is normal for you and what regular monthly changes in your breasts feel like, is the best way to keep an eye on your breast health.

Here is your recipe for healthy boobies. You can perform this task solo or with your partner, which may make it more fun, but please be sure to take this seriously because it can change your life for the better.

Difficulty: Easy

Time Required: 15 minutes a month....more if you are doing it with your partner...I would hope ;-)

What You Need:

• A mirror which lets you see both breasts
• A pillow for your head and shoulders
• Privacy

1. Make a regular date for your breast self exam (BSE)

• If you are pre-menopausal: Set a regular time to examine your breasts a few days after your period ends, when hormone levels are relatively stable and breasts are less tender.
• If you are already menopausal (have not had a period for a year or more): Pick a particular day of the month to do the exam, and then repeat your BSE on that day each month.

2. Visual Exam - Hands on Hips

In the privacy of your bathroom, strip to the waist and stand before a mirror. You will need to see both breasts at the same time. Stand with your hands on your hips and check the appearance of your breasts. Look at size, shape, and contour. Note changes, if any, in the skin color or texture. Look at the nipples and areolas, to see how healthy they look.

3. Visual Exam - Arms Over Your Head

Still standing in front of the mirror, raise your arms over your head and see if your breasts move in the same way, and note any differences. Look at size, shape, and drape, checking for symmetry. Pay attention to your nipples and areolas, to see if you have any dimples, bumps, or retraction (indentation). Look up toward your armpits and note if there is any swelling where your lymph nodes are (lower armpit area).

4. Manual Exam - Stand and Stroke

Raise your left arm overhead, and use your right-hand fingers to apply gentle pressure to the left breast. Stroke from the top to the bottom of the breast, moving across from the inside of the breast all the way into your armpit area. You can also use a circular motion, being sure to cover the entire breast area. Take note of any changes in texture, color, or size. Switch sides and repeat. This is best done in the shower, as wet skin will have the least resistance to the friction of your fingers.

5. Manual Exam - Check Your Nipples

Still facing the mirror, lower both arms. With the index and middle fingers of your right hand, gently squeeze the left nipple and pull forward. Does the nipple spring back into place? Does it pull back into the breast? Note whether or not any fluid leaks out. Reverse your hands and check the right nipple in the same way.

6. Manual Exam - Recline and Stroke

This is best done in your bedroom, where you can lie down. Place a pillow on the bed so that you can lie with both your head and shoulders on the pillow. Lie down and put your left hand behind your head. Use your right hand to stroke the breast and underarm, as you did in step 4. Take note of any changes in texture, color, or size. Switch sides and repeat.

7. Tips For Doing Your BSE

1. Mark your calendar to remind yourself to do your BSE regularly. This is a good way to prevent worry if find a normal cyclic change.
2. Stay relaxed and breathe normally as you do your BSE. Becoming tense will produce some knots that you may mistake for something worrisome.
3. Report any changes or unusual pain to your doctor or nurse practitioner. Keep a log of changes, if that helps you remember.
4. Remember to have an annual clinical exam and a mammogram.
 
Now remember that healthy boobies are happy boobies. Take it from Coco and Baps ;-)
 
*Sweet P*
 
**Information taken from the National Cancer Institute.**

Random acts of kindness can hurt sometimes :-/

I was on metro this morning, minding my own business and once again being annoyed by all the men sitting down comfortably while a bunch of women and small children stand and try to hold on for dear life...*rolling my eyes*....when a man punched me really hard on my arm. I turned to look at him like WTF! and he pointed to the dead bug that he killed on me. It took me a moment to realize that he was trying to get the bug and not cause me any harm. He was so proud that he had saved me from this perilous situation, and I was in so much pain, but eventually I smiled and said, "Thank you." He said you are welcome like he was Superman and I was Lois Lane. He had performed his random act of kindness for the day.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Sometimes the good that you do for other people may hurt them for a moment, but at some point they will come to see that they are better off in the long-run.

Keeping it easy breezy,

*Sweet P*

Frenemies....How many people have them?

I just read an article titled, "The Friendship Detox: How to Say Goodbye and Good Riddance." Very good article on how certain "friendships" can be toxic and draining to your life. It’s funny that I came across this because I woke up thinking about some of the relationships around me and how I don't feel like I am getting anything from them. I feel that they take more from me than add to my life. Then there are some friendships that have pulled me from the edge or that have elevated me to another level. The article challenged me to evaluate the company I keep further by asking: 

“Do you look forward to seeing this person, or do you consider it a chore? Is she truly happy to see you, or do you suspect she wants something from you or needs to lord something over you? Will you walk away from this meeting feeling good—or feeling manipulated, demeaned, poisoned, or played?”

Wow!!! I think I just crossed off almost every "friend" on my list :-/

Then she goes on to say...

 “I've had a few such friendship terrorists in my life, and I'm absolutely certain I've been one at times, too, but part of growing up means knowing when to stop playing pretend. Remaining attached to some people is like slaving over a withered garden without realizing all the plants are dead. And letting the negative relationships suck up time and energy only deprives us of the opportunity to nurture and appreciate those friendships that actually do work.”

Wow again!!! Nicely put. I will be stealing that term “friendship terrorists” for myself.

Life is way too short to spend it with someone you don’t like. I do think that in the past I have allowed unhealthy friendships to close me off to genuine people. I didn’t grow up with people that I could lean on, so it has caused me to be my own best friend. It is now at an older age that I have realized that I can’t continue this race alone. That I have people beside me who do love and care about me and wish me well as I do them. I have wasted time in nurturing these friendships because I’ve been mourning too long over the dead ones.

 “True friends bear each other's burdens and accept each other's weaknesses, because without reciprocity, there's nothing. Friendship is about collaboration, not domination. Because we should be stewards of each other's rooms, I am happy to help you keep yours clean, but life is too fleeting to let you continue trashing mine.”

With that said, I’m making some changes in my life today and if you don’t hear from me, you are one of them. LOL!

My life is a puzzle, and you just don't fit!

*Sweet P*

National Singles Week???

September 19-25 (the third week of September) is National Singles Week. You have got to be kidding me?? Whose bright idea was it to give us a week and what is it that we are to do to "celebrate" this time in our lives? And why a week? I'm single 365 days a year. I really think this week was made up by some woman who was trying to embrace her singleness happily. I know that right now, if she's still single, she's kicking herself. LOL!

I'm not mad at the week, just think its stupid. Being single is a journey that cannot be measured by time or space. Some days its wonderful and some days you want to slap the next person who comes and says to you, "I'm engaged!" Basically every single person is in a different place at a different time. No one needs a reminder that they don't have anyone. What's what we have Valentine's Day for....All I'm saying is if you wish me a Happy Singles Week be prepared to eat those words.

Thanks but no thanks,

*Sweet P*

When you let God drive, you get there faster.

I know it's been a little while since I blogged. I miss you just as much as you miss me ;)

Life has been beating me up the past month. I was busy running around putting into other people and things and when I got a moment to myself, I was too tired to put back into me. DRAINED!!! This is why I decided to take off the last week of August for a stay-cation to reconnect with the person I love most next to God....Sweet P. I went to the beach with myself. I took myself on a movie and a lunch date. I treated myself to a day of pampering. I remembered who I fell in love with years ago and rekindled my own flame.

I sit here now remembering the week and it was just a few days ago, but feels so far away. How did I get back to this place of stress so fast? Why do I feel like I need another vacation and I just took one? I'm doing too much work in my life. I'm spending too much time dealing with issues that I have no control over. My anal retentiveness has convinced me that I am superwoman and that I have the power to make all things on earth better. I literally just woke up from that dream/nightmare...It's amazing what you learn about yourself when you open your eyes and be honest. Didn't even know how crazy I was until I just said that. GROWTH!

I am not a super-religious person, but I have a strong faith relationship with God and put Him at the head of my life. Everything I am I owe to Him. He has spared me over and over in ways that are unimaginable. He is the ONLY constant in my life...

MY CONFESSION: I have been treating God like I do people. I push His love away. I don't trust Him at times out of fear of being hurt. I dominate our conversations and sometimes ignore what He says because I don't want to hear the truth. Funny thing is that when I do this, most people leave me alone and the people who love me, know me and just let me be. God on the other hand, He won't allow it at all--no matter what. He stays in my ear, in my face, in my heart. Even now, He's saying, "Finally you get it and I ain't goin' no where."

It is time for me to sit in this passenger seat and let God drive. No more giving him directions! No more asking if He needs me to take the wheel! No more questions about where we are going and are we there yet! No more looking for rest stops! No more interfering with His driving, period! I will be quiet and sit back and ride in style. I am certain now that I will get there faster (wherever there is).

Whew!! That was a tough lesson for me. *tears*

~Sweet P~

Powerful Message!

Thank you to this brotha for reminding me of how awesome I am. Like my previous post, sometimes I forget how amazing and beautiful Sweet P is. Sometimes the outside messages can clutter your mind and make you doubt certain things about yourself. Imagine being with someone who said these things to you every single moment of every day....That someone for me is GOD and it also needs to be ME.

I'm giving this brotha 3 snaps up and Z formation...Men on Film, In Living Color LMBO!!!!

*Sweet P*

"You could be so much more."

I had one of those weekends. Not too bad, but not too good either. I had a moment when I contemplated answering a phone call from someone that would have been cool for the moment, but I would have ended up kicking myself in the long run. Just when I listened to the message and was going to make the call God whispered to me, "You could be so much more." There is no way that you get a message like that and not stop yourself from disappointing yourself. I was sooo grateful for that reminder and that revelation that where I am now is no where near where I will end up. I quickly wrote on sticky notes HIS message and put it on my fridge, my front door and my mirror in my bathroom. I started to take them down thinking that people would think I was crazy if they came in my house and saw the notes, but then I thought maybe, just maybe, this is a message that they need to hear for themselves as well. We could all be MORE, but we need to believe it.

Lord help me believe!

Is it okay for your man to flirt??

Okay, I told folks not to play with me or I would put them on blast...

I had a friend and his name was/is Brandon Harris. Yeah I said his name and if he crosses my path, I will be putting all his business in the street. I thought he was a cool guy. We met years ago, but he was too young for me and not what I was looking for in a life-long partner. We remained "friends" over the years though. Occasionally talk or hang out. Nothing serious at all.....So why not be honest with your lifestyle? I spoke to him about my men of interest and he proclaimed that he did not have a girlfriend...nothing going on at all.

Although I had no intimate interest in Brandon, he had a cute little crush on me. Well recently this man has been sending me texts and pictures of a sexual nature. Come to find out that not only is Brandon in a serious relationship with a woman that he has been with for over a year, he is possibly the father of a 9 month old baby by another woman. HUH????

Now let me say this, I could care less about this man. Don't care that he is in a relationship and the scum of the earth. What bugs me is that he is a LIAR! I hate liars. I didn't even want you, so why lie? And if you have a girlfriend why would you send me the messages that you sent? When I confronted him he rolled over like a punk! He apologized and said that he said those things knowing that I didn't want him so it was harmless. HUH? Now that's when I said if it was harmless I can send your girlfriend the messages and see if she thinks its okay (this was merely a threat to make his little butt sweat). He started stuttering. He said, "Please don't. I was just flirting with you."

Flirting? Harmless? I think not. I'm a single woman. I can flirt as much as I want, but once I enter into a relationship that is no longer acceptable. It would hurt my feelings to hear that my man said the things Brandon told me. It would hurt my feelings to know that my man was hanging out with a woman that I didn't know. It would hurt me to know that my man had any interactions with women that he could not have right in front of me. Brandon may think that it is harmless, but what if I had acted on his advances? Do you think he would have denied me? I think not.

Anyway, he has given up his right as a "friend" of Sweet P.

Brandon Harris...DO BETTER!!!

God always pulls me from the edge!

I am finally waking up and checking my e-mail. Just got this message from my Pastor:

Celebrate You!

You need to learn how to celebrate yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and if others do not affirm you then learn how to affirm yourself. The fact that God woke you up and gave you a brand new day should let you know that God cares for you, values you and has placed you on His agenda.

Assignment: Wake up today and thank God for who you are. Specifically thank Him for every unique thing about you. Spend today celebrating the person God made you to be.

RIGHT ON TIME!!!! This changed my whole outlook on my day just like that....I love it when God whispers in my ear and tells me to stop with the pity party and get myself in order. Hair still jacked, clothes still tight, "before picture" still in full effect, but I have on my heels....I will strut through this day, celebrating me, and the "after picture" that I will have tomorrow.

Feeling better already,

*Sweet P*

Just one of dem days...

I've been sick all week and today I feel better health-wise, but really wish I could go back home and get in the bed. My hair is a mess and pulled back because I did not care to do anything with it this morning. I am wearing my glasses because my eyes hurt...I think think they wanted to remain shut and are punishing me for opening them too soon. I was so not going to iron anything this morning, so finding an outfit was a struggle. No dresses or skirts because it is mos def not a cute day for Sweet P--remember the hair and the glasses. I found some pants and a shirt to throw on and now that I am at work, I realize that they are too tight. *sigh*

It is just one of those days....I don't want to hit rewind because that means I have to do it all over again. I would rather press fast forward and advance to Friday at 12:05 p.m. when I am in my car leaving work, heading to the hairdresser to tame this mop on my head.

Well its not Friday yet and I've only completed 1 of the 9 hours that I must give to this job today. I have a long list of things to do, I'm in a funky mood, I look like a "before picture," and to top it all off I have that single woman's headache of loneliness. *sigh* It is throbbing!!! I'm taking something for it though and I'm sure that it will pass. It never lasts long....

By the way, I actually think the cat in the picture looks better than me right now. *double sigh*

Trying to fake a smile for these chatty/chipper co-workers,

*Sweet P*

More reasons...

I was driving home and thinking of a couple more reasons why I'm a good woman/wife....Yes I do have moments where I think highly of myself. Believe me it was not always like this. Good self-esteem is a blessing!!!

Okay so....

11. I am a good listener. I will hang onto my baby's every word. Speak sweetie! I'm taking it all in...
12. I like sports and will watch with you and not ask any questions, but he better be a Redskins fan!! LMBO!

And I also wanted to correct some of my flaws that I listed...

1. I am bossy....But I do know my place when we are in public. Behind closed doors is where Queen B comes into play. Again, working hard on this "Jezebel Spirit."
2. I am opinionated.....But I can agree to disagree. I love a good heated debate.
3. I talk a lot.....At least its never a dull moment with me :0) I also know when to be silent. Sometimes quiet moments are the best and I know how to appreciate them. Tell me to shut up. I won't mind.
4. It's hard for me to accept a compliment.....This goes back to the self-esteem not always being where it should. I'm a work in progress. One day I will see what you see.
5. I'm a neat freak.....This may never change. Good thing is his home will always be clean cuz a Sista won't be able to stay around if its not.

Okay that's all...for now ;)

What makes Sweet P a good woman/wife???

I was listening to the radio this morning and they had men call in to give their opinion on what makes a good girlfriend. Very interesting viewpoints and not all had to do with sex and giving "good head." Sorry to be so vulgar, but this is an adult blog, so....

Well here is my list of what makes Sweet P a good woman/wife:

1. I am a good cook and actually enjoy making special treats for my man. We can have everything the restaurant has with a more intimate setting ;)
2. I am loyal. I'm that ride or die chick that is ready in any and every situation. Call me and I am there!
3. I'm not needy. Don't care to be all up under my man all the time. For example, if he wants to go out with the boys...BYE! I can use that time to hang with my girls OR if he wants to watch something and I want to watch something else...SMOOCHES! I'll be in the bedroom watching Lifetime.
4. I'm supportive. I will be my man's biggest cheerleader in whatever his heart desires. No matter how ridiculous--if it makes him happy, I'm all for it.
5. I'm Miss Independent. This Sista has her own and can say, "I got it. I got it." However, I will allow you to get it and give it as you please. Best believe! LOL!
6. I am family-oriented. I understand the importance of family.
7. I am affectionate....we will leave it at that ;)
8. I am nurturing. I have an innate mothering-side that makes me want to take care of everyone, especially my man.
9. I have a sense of humor. I'm down right silly at times.
10. I am summissive....but only to a man who has my best interests at heart.

I could go on and on, but I will stop there. LOL! Now with that said, I'm not perfect, so there are some things that I know I need to work on like:

1. I am bossy.
2. I am opinionated.
3. I talk a lot.
4. It's hard for me to accept a compliment.
5. I'm a neat freak.

None of those are deal-breakers, but I know that they can be annoying, so I am working on making myself and even better woman by loosening up a bit. I have come leaps and bounds from where I once used to be and I must say this blog has helped me see myself in a different light. Growth is good.

Hmmm. Now let me think about what makes a good man/husband for me....

*Sweet P*

LET'S DO BETTER!!

At the beginning of this year, there was a shift in my spirit. It’s one of the reasons why I started this blog. I have always been a positive, strong woman (at least that is the image I try to give off), but sometimes I am scared and unsure. I think I realized that I don't give myself enough credit for the way I look, the services I provide to the community and how I treat myself and family/friends. I recognized that in all things I could always DO BETTER!

Doing better does not mean what you are doing is not good or right. It just means that if you gave more or put more effort into something or someone or yourself you/it could be AMAZING!! Why be just aight with you can be fierce? Why settle for okay when you can have awesome? Why accept BS when you can receive something fantabulous? Why not take everything in life to the next level of superiority?

So you may hear me say to myself DO BETTER!!! and it could mean....

• I need to stop eating these donuts right now because I know I just had a healthy breakfast.
• I need to stop cyber-stalking Trey Songz because my neighbors don’t know his name.
• I need to press forward and establish my vision of not having to work FOR someone for the rest of my life.
• I need to exercise more.
• I need to stop gossiping about people.
• I need to show my friends and family that I love them every time they are in my presence.
• I need to bite my tongue and let things ride.
• I need to understand that I don't have to have the last word.
• I need to agree to disagree.
• I need to rock those fly shoes and that sexxxy outfit and stop letting them sit in my closet.
• I need to live, love and laugh more.
• I need to DO BETTER!!

With that said, doing better does not end with me. There are so many people around me that I see day to day that need to step up their game. If I can acknowledge my shortcomings and bring myself to a standard, each and every one of us can do the same. I decided to start a new blog to bring attention to people, places, things, etc. that I think can use some improvement.

 

Please follow me at http://letsdobetta.blogspot.com/. If you would like me to put someone or something on blast for you, e-mail me at im.livingsingle@gmail.com.

 

Let’s DO BETTER ya’ll!

 

*Sweet P*

Wooooosaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

Okay so this morning as I was leaving out I cut off my bathroom light and I heard a weird noise. I tried to turn the light back on and nothing happened. UGH!! I was already running late, so I figured I would handle it when I got home. I went the whole day and didn't think about it, which is a huge breakthrough for me. Usually I would spend the day trying to figure out my plan of action and stress over how I had to remove the big painting blocking the breaker and shut off the power. Today, I didn't think about it until I walked through the door and had to use the bathroom. UGH!!! Okay so I move the big heavy painting, shut off the power, take out the power switches, figure out where the problem is, do the rewiring, cut back on the power, test the lights and YAY it worked. Cool...so now I take the time to put it all back in place and cut the power back on and NOTHING!!!! I was this close to tears and just had to step away and sit down. I missed the gym, haven't eaten yet and soon it will be dark and I need light to fix this thing. There is no time to cry and no one to call. I'm tired of being electrician, plumber, carpenter, and EVERYTHING!

I can't take it! OK I am giving myself 5 minutes to cry and then I'll go back in there and try to figure it out.

It's times like these that I wish....Wooooosaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

OK 5 minutes starting now...

*Sweet P*

Good Man #1: Alex Williams

In my post on 4/22/10, "I only date Black men. It's my prerogative!" I stated that I would start spotlighting good black men on my blog. This month I’m putting my bro Alex Williams on blast. I’m a little biased about him being a good guy since I've known him practically all his life, but I'm not the only one who sees how special he is, so it must be the real thing.

I knew that I wanted to interview Alex when I had the idea, and he immediately said yes without hesitation. I kept trying to plan a time for us to meet and have the interview, but it never seemed to work out. One day on the humble Alex calls Steph to go to breakfast and I'm sitting in the car relishing in the great workout week I had. She asked me to go and my thighs made me shake my head NO, but then Alex gets in my ear with the peer pressure and forced me kicking and screaming to eat delicious french toast and BACON!! (Side note: Every time we said the word bacon, we applauded LMBO). Anyway, I guess some of the best conversations and interactions with folks can’t be planned because this time spent with my sis and brother from another mother was PRICELESS…

Sweet P: Tell me 3 things about you that even your closest friends don’t know.

Alex: Hmmm....(5 minutes later)...Hmmm....Can you come back to that one?

Sweet P: Sure, but understand there are no passes...You can’t run from me. (Winks) Okay so moving on...Can you tell me one quality about yourself that you don’t like?

Alex: (After chewing BACON!!...Applause) I can be very selfish, but I have a heart for being self-less, but it has to be very intentional with me. It’s not a characteristic that I just have. I see people who are very giving. Who are very loving and it’s with ease that they can serve people. For me, I have to consciously decide to be a nice person. (I give the side eye. Alex laughs) I have a heart for serving the poor and serving God’s Kingdom, but it’s a clearly intentional thing for me to make a decision to choose to be that way. It’s not an innate drive that I have, but I choose to be Christ-like and Christ-minded in my giving back and service.

Sweet P: I bet you may be giving too much credit to those folks you think are “self-less.” They may be just as selfish as you are, but don’t admit it. In my opinion, I think you may be too hard on yourself. It takes a special person to be able to give to others when they don’t feel like it. Doesn't matter what moves you or pushes you to act, the fact remains that you choose to do it. Some don’t. (Kanye shrug) Okay, so now on to something juicier that inquiring minds want to know...Tell me three attractive traits about a woman outside of appearance.

Alex: (With no hesitation) Alright #1 is humor. I love to laugh and I love a woman who can just be silly and let go sometimes and not be so serious all the time. And also who can take my silly quirks cuz I’m a silly dude.

Sweet P: You are!! (Loud laughter)

Alex: Not the AMEN corner. (Laughs) You were like, “Yes, yes, he is!” (Laughs) I love to laugh and she has to be able to laugh also. Secondly, driven. Someone who is ambitious and has goals in life and are making steps and strides to achieve those goals. And I would be just as supportive of her and would hope she would be with me in my pursuit of music.

Sweet P: It’s funny you say driven because there are a lot of people who see this as a negative quality for a woman.

Alex: Not at all! Matter of fact, she can make so much more money than me, and I could care less!

Sweet P: (High 5-ing) Love that!

Alex: I want someone who has their own thing going on and we can bring both our worlds together and make it work. That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! And #3, she has to love family. I have an extended family that I love to hang around and I would hope that she would have the same and really be about family coming first. After God, but before career and everything else.

Sweet P: Well which of those three is a deal breaker for you? She has these two but, not this and it’s a WRAP!

Alex: Honestly, humor. If we can’t laugh together…cuz we are gonna have to laugh through some situations. There are going to be times when we may not be financially straight or the kids are acting crazy. We gotta be able to laugh.

Sweet P: Laughter is good for the soul...She sounds like an amazing woman...She sounds like me. (Madea smile) Now, I think I know the answer to the next question, but I’ve never asked you before, so...What is the one moment in your life that shaped you into the man you are today?

Alex: When my mother died. That changed my whole outlook on life. It changed my perception on things. Before she passed, it was all about parents just want you to get your degree and if you do that you get your good government job and blah blah blah, but my mother had some dreams and goals that weren’t met prior to her passing and it opened my eyes to want to live a life that I feel is satisfactory for me. A life that I feel has purpose and that I was able to pursue and chase the dreams that I want. Whether it comes to fruition or not, at least I can be happy with the fact that I did try. Not to negate education because you know I didn't finish school, but at the same time school was no longer Priority #1--it was living a purposeful life. And for some you need school to do it and for some you don’t necessarily need it. I think education is important and all that good stuff, but for me I think God had a different path, and so again that situation just literally opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking of things.

Sweet P: Woo woo woo...Ok now back to my first question. Can you NOW tell me 3 things about you that even your closest friends don’t know?

Alex: Okay three things. I know most artists get nervous before they perform, but I’m definitely nervous and I'm not one of those people who tremble. I just get a shortness of breath and sometimes it’s kinda hard and I really have to focus on my breathing when I’m performing so I don’t pass out.

Sweet P: (Laughing, but alarmed)

Alex: I’m joking. I’m joking, but that's one most people probably don’t know about me. I’ve seen myself perform and I don’t look nervous, but I really am.

Sweet P: You don’t look it at all. You would never know. Interesting...

Alex: #2 would be, yeah, I have the Simpson’s Sings the Blues record and I still listen to it. “Do the Bartman,” “Nothing but Trouble,” yeah, I still listen to that so...I’m not ashamed of my game…

Sweet P: (Laughing hysterically...but Alex is so serious)

Alex: And the third one is that I always eat my desert before my meal.

Sweet P: Why do you do that?

Alex: I don’t know. Having something sweet after eating a salty meal…I don’t like that. I like sweet then salty.

Sweet P: Okay cool. Now for my final question. I get tired of answering this, so now I will put someone else on the hot seat. Why do you think you’re single?

Alex: Cuz the woman I want don’t want me. (Looking sad while eating a second helping of BACON!!...Applause)

Sweet P: (Laughing) You sound a little bitter there.

Steflova: (Adding her 2 cents) Tell ‘em how you really feel son! Tell ‘em how you really feel.

Alex: Beyonce just won’t return my calls… No, I’m kidding.

Sweet P & Steflova: (Laughing really hard)

Alex: Are you still recording?

Sweet P: Yuup! ROTFLMBO!!

Alex: (Now trying to take me seriously) I don’t know. I just haven’t found that combination. I’m not looking for perfection, but with the divorce rate being almost 60%, I definitely want somebody who has some major qualities that I desire. I can work through some stuff, but I am not willing to compromise. I would like to enjoy a long-lasting marriage, a healthy marriage, a loving marriage, and it’s a process to find that person.

Told you he was one of the good guys... ;-)

Alex is currently working on a gospel CD that is going to be AMAZING, so please support him in his efforts. To learn more about Alex and get information on how you can purchase his new single, “Everybody Needs a Hero,” please visit http://awmusiconline.com/.

R.I.P. Walter Hawkins

• Marvelous by Walter Hawkins

More Walter Hawkins music on iLike

Mr. Hawkins, thank you for blessing me over and over again with this song. Out of your body of work, its the one that constantly reminds me of the sacrifice that was made for me--the sacrifice that I from time to time take for granted. I cannot listen to this song without shouting Hallelujah!! Thank you for your ministry, your service and all the lives that you have touched. May your soul finally rest in eternal peace.

Singing... "Every battle already won. I can't help, but praise you Lord for the marvelous things You've done!"

*Sweet P*

A testament of unconditional love...

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I just read this article and watched this video and had to share this true testament of unconditional love. In a day and age where men and women are breaking up over trivial matters (e.g. She gained weight and I'm not attracted to her anymore or all he wants to do is watch TV and I want to go out) it warms my heart to see a couple stick it out even when they are faced (no pun intended) with such a horrific battle. His beauty was not measured by the way he looked and her loyally to her husband was measured by the commitment that she made when she professed, "Until death do us part."

How many of you can say if your partner was met with the same condition, you would hang in there with them to the end like this wife?

This is the love I patiently wait for...

*Sweet P*