May 26, 2011

"She's pretty for a dark skin girl."

I can't count how many times I've heard, "You're pretty for a dark skin girl." People don't get how stupid that sounds. Then they look at you like something is wrong with you when you don't say thank you. Why can't I just be pretty? What does the color of my skin have to do with it? Growing up I HATED the skin I was in. I wanted to have lighter skin (and it didn't help that I was also the darkest in my family). I wished my hair was longer and straighter. I wished my nose wasn't so wide and my lips were smaller. I envied the lighter skin girls in my classes. Seemed that all the boys wanted them to be their girlfriends and I was just that really cool girl to hang out with. I even had one guy tell me that he really liked me, which was weird because I was a dark skin girl. HUH? But back then, I didn't get that they were just ignorant. I just thought something was wrong with me. It also, didn't help that the only man that was in my life would make comments like, "Why are you spending all that time in the mirror. There's nothing you can do with that face." Remember, what I said about parents....some things stay with you FOREVER!

The clips from this documentary are very moving. I could relate to these women on so many levels. Happy that today I love the skin I'm in, but wish I didn't have those moments in my past when I hated it so much. Sad part is that it wasn't the media or society that caused my internal struggle, but my own people. The one girl on here who said that she used to wake up and wish she was lighter and wash her face hoping the color would change, thinking "it was dirt and tried to clean it off but it wouldn't come off." My heart aches for her.

Took me a while to get here, for so many reasons, but I'm totally-head over heels-completely IN LOVE WITH PHYLLIS!!! She is beautiful because of her spirit that shines through in her smile and the gift of love that she sends out into the universe. I cry now for the little girl who didn't know this. Who was so lost for so long. Who didn't know she was worthy and deserved to be treated as such. Today when I look in the mirror I see ME, flaws and all, and I love every single part of what makes Phyllis phenomenal.

*Sweet P*


  1. Wow! You hit this one on the head with a nail. Very touching video. When you learn that your beauty is not defined in what other people think and say about you or even in what you feel about yourself but in how God created you then you can truly embrace what is beautiful. Dark skin, light skin, mocha doesn't matter God created us all to be beautiful.
    Great Job Phyllis!


  2. I can relate to this Phyllis. I was very insecure when I was younger and today I love everything about myself, especially my flaws. Most women grew up with insecurities about themselves and their looks. When a woman truly starts to fall in love with who she sees in the mirror it is a major sign of maturity and it's very attractive. I'm happy you are at this place in your life and I'm happy I'm at this place too, I do love what I see in my mirror.

  3. @Natalie, ain't that the truth! I love the different shades of beautiful.

    @WomanNTune, let's do a dance that we are both where we need to be. Took us a while to get here, but Thank God we made it!


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