My best lesson of the year...

What a year!! At the end of 2010, I knew that 2011 was going to bring me so much, but I had no idea that the lessons learned would require me to take such a brutal beating. UGH!! I met some great men this year who turned out to just not be good men for me. I ended some stale friendships that had expired years ago. I took some chances that didn't work in my favor, but I have no regrets. There were many mistakes that I made this year, but the bad decisions were made from a very weak and lonely place. REAL TALK!! Everything had to happen to bring me to this place of peace.

Exhale...

The holidays came this year out of no where and I found myself at one point wondering why I once again had no one to share it with. Immediately, I shook that ish off and reminded myself of the people that I do have that make everyday feel like Christmas. Then I thought of the knuckleheads who could have been around to just annoy me and I thanked God for His grace and mercy. See sometimes as intelligent as I am, I tolerate nonsense longer than I should. When this happens, my God who sees what I am unable to see on the surface (or what I pretend not to see), steps in and saves me. It's like when a small child wanders off into the street and a huge truck is coming...He comes in and swoops me up in His arms. I am so grateful that I am covered.

So as I embark on another new year, I got the best lesson this morning. I'm reading a book called, "The Weight of Silence," a mother speaking to her daughter told her this:

"People say that being a mother is the most important job you will ever have. And it is very important. But it is even more important, I believe, to be a wife, a good wife. I don't mean you have to be a floor mat. That's not what I mean at all. I mean, who you choose to walk with through life will be the most important decision that you will ever, ever make. You will have your children and you will love them because they are yours and because they will be wonderful. Just like you. But who you marry is a choice. The man you choose should make you happy, encourage you in following your dreams, big ones and little ones."

I hollered AMEN! on metro after reading that and the lady next to me smiled and said that must have been something good and I shared the passage with her. She said, "That's very good advice," and wished that she had chosen better. Then she would not be "stuck in the situation she is in now." I am so happy that I am FREE to make better choices and nothing that I have done before this moment has me "stuck in a situation."

FREE!! Dropping it low for my freedom...Whoop whoop!!!

Sweet P

HIV+ Boy Denied Admittance to School...That ish CRAY!!!

WASHINGTON POST ARTICLE: 13-year-old HIV+ denied admission to private school

When I heard about this story on the news, I thought that my ears were deceiving me. That in this day and time we are refusing education to people based on ignorance. I think that this is timely with yesterday being World AIDS Day. Just goes to show you how uninformed many people are about this disease. How can you deny this young man an education? He was born with this illness and if anything the students are more of a threat to him with their colds and chicken pox than he is to them. Will they be sharing needles or having unprotected sex in class?? This aggravates me...

I applaud this family for being open and informing the school of his diagnosis. Situations like this are why the stigma remains today and many people do not disclose their illness or don't get tested because they don't want to know. My question for the school administration is how many of your students are currently infected that you don't even know about??

Educate yourself people!

Today I pray for this young man. That he may not feel ashamed or isolated because of his illness. That he knows he has a wonderfully, blessed life ahead of him. That he uses this situation to gain strength to continue to do the great work he's already doing and prove to the world that regardless of his diagnosis, he can do anything he sets his mind to. AMEN...

Watch "Keep a Child Alive" on Showtime Tonight!!

“Keep a Child Alive” with Alicia Keys is the story of five Americans who win the chance to travel to South Africa with their favorite superstar, Alicia Keys as she visited “Keep a Child Alive,” funded sites in Johannesburg and Durban. In the heady atmosphere of the first World Cup on African soil, the five winners are overwhelmed by the sorrow they encounter and the incredible beauty of the people they meet. With Alicia as their guide, they are transported from lives of plenty to lives of interrupted. Watch their journey and try not to care. Click here for more information on the program and show times.

I will definitely be tuning in and will provide a blog on my perspective. The epidemic is disheartening in the US, but to see how the disease is basically seen as a death sentence in Africa is devastating. On the forum that I am watching now, one woman on the panel stated that many Africans do not want to even learn of their HIV status because there are no drugs or treatments available to them. Breaks my heart…Funny, some things that I've been concerned with this week seem so silly and trivial to me now. I’m sure some folks would love to have the problems I have. Just reminds me that in all things—BE GRATEFUL.

SN: This forum has AWESOME!! I am happy to see people discussing the issues and putting a plan of action into place. For too long it has been seen as a poor people's or gay person's disease....HIV/AIDS affects us all on so many levels. You do not have to know someone living with the illness or lose someone special to the disease for it to matter to you. If you care about anything outside of yourself, you will do something. Even if it is just wearing a ribbon or educating yourself or wearing a condom or donating to the cause or GETTING TESTED...play a part in helping to eradicate this world of this disease that I hate more than anything in the world.

Okay gotta go...my former Pres Bill Clinton is speaking now. That's my boo LOL!

Sweet P

Another reason I love President Obama...

I think that it's great that President Obama, former President Bill Clinton, former President George W. Bush and others will take part in a forum today on "The Beginning of the End of AIDS" at George Washington University. Others due to participate in the discussion include President Jakaya Kikwete of Tanzania, Bono (U2 singer and ONE Campaign founder) and singer Alicia Keys.

The Associated Press says that Obama "is renewing the U.S. commitment to ending HIV and AIDS on Thursday, setting goals for getting more people access to life-saving AIDS drugs and boosting spending on treatment of the virus in the U.S. by $50 million dollars.” Obama will announce the new initiatives at this forum.

The ONE Campaign, which is a grassroots campaign of more than 2.5 million people committed to the fight against extreme poverty and preventable diseases, will be streaming the forum live at 10:00 a.m. EST. Please click here to view the live stream.

This disease continues to kill so many, but the good news is that many are living longer, healthier lives with the drugs. We just need to support causes that help to ensure that EVERYONE regardless of socio-economic status that access to proper health care and the drugs that will help prolong their lives. Not everyone is Magic Johnson. I am so happy that he has been able to live 20 years after his diagnosis, but not too many people are alive to say the same.

Sweet P

December 1, 2011: Leading with Science, Uniting for Action

World AIDS Day – December 1, 2011

What is World AIDS Day? World AIDS Day is held on 1 December each year and is an opportunity for people worldwide to unite in the fight against HIV, show their support for people living with HIV and to commemorate people who have died. World AIDS Day was the first ever global health day and the first one was held in 1988.

Why is World AIDS Day important? More than 90,000 people are currently living with HIV globally an estimated 33.3 million people have HIV. More than 25 million people between 1981 and 2007 have died from the virus, making it one of the most destructive pandemics in history.Today, many scientific advances have been made in HIV treatment, there are laws to protect people living with HIV and we understand so much more about the condition. But despite this, people do not know the facts about how to protect themselves and others from HIV, and stigma and discrimination remain a reality for many people living with HIV. World AIDS Day is important as it reminds the public and Government that HIV has not gone away – there is still a vital need to raise money, increase awareness, fight prejudice and improve education.

What should I do on World AIDS Day? World AIDS Day is an opportunity for you to learn the facts about HIV and put your knowledge into action. If you understand how HIV is transmitted, how it can be prevented, and the reality of living with HIV today - you can use this knowledge to take care of your own health and the health of others, and ensure you treat everyone living with HIV fairly, and with respect and understanding. Click here to find out the facts. You can also show your support for people living with HIV on World AIDS Day by wearing a red ribbon, the international symbol of HIV awareness. World AIDS Day is also a great opportunity to raise money and show your support for people living with HIV. If you feel inspired to hold an event, bake sale or simply sell red ribbons, click here to get started. If you'd like to see what other events are taking place — click here and find out more.

But what about after World AIDS Day? Although World AIDS Day is a great opportunity to get the public talking about HIV and fund raise, we need to remember the importance of raising awareness of HIV all year round. That's why National AIDS Trust (NAT) has launched HIVaware - a fun, interactive new website which provides all the information everyone should know about HIV. Why not use what you have learnt on World AIDS Day to Act Aware throughout the year and remember, you can fund raise at any time of year too — NAT is always here to give you suggestions and ideas.

*Information taken from http://www.worldaidsday.org/about-world-aids-day.php.


Also visit http://aids.gov/world-aids-day/ for more information on how you can join the fight against AIDS.

God talks to me at the craziest hours...

This is a 4:39 a.m. message that came to me in the middle of the night. I had to roll over and immediately write it down so I wouldn't miss my blessing....

I happened upon a quote that says, "Disappointments are just God's way of saying: I've got something better. Be patient, live life, have faith." However, sometimes even with that Intel, you still go back down roads that you have no business walking on by yourself at night. You are liable to get into trouble. It's like this...if you are slapped on the right cheek repeatedly and leave because you know you deserve better, why would you then go back to that person and turn the other cheek for them to slap even harder?? Especially when you can still feel the sting from that "last slap." (Wow that's deep!!)

That would be dumb. Just stupid. Then I told myself (because yes I do talk to myself, but I'm good until I start answering myself lol)...I said P look at it like this: If you had a horse that you bet on that you liked. Sometimes there was a payoff here and there. Nothing major, but you made enough to eat good for a day or two. Then one day the head trainer told you that the horse you were betting on was a loser and would never again bring you any luck. Never. Its not like he's been dependable in the past. It's just been disappointment after disappointment.

Would you then withdraw all your money from the bank and bet on this horse? Hell no!!! There is no way that I can receive what's ahead of me if I keep looking backwards. I rather put my money on a winner! Right now that sure bet is ME. First time a message came to me "for me." I receive it completely.

And the moral of this story is when God tells you that this person or thing that has disappointed you is not for you, LET IT GO AND MOVE ON. Period. No matter what happens. No matter how good it looks; it's a dead horse. Let it die. Move on and have faith. Free your hands up to receive something amazing. God has NEVER failed me and if I'm going to put all my hopes on the table, I'll bet on HIM every, single time.

Wow. Just woke up and read that like I didn't even write it. What a blessing indeed!!

Sweet P

LNHP Recap: "B----, I'm Fuego"

Episode 2: "B----, I'm Fuego"

I couldn't wait for this episode to see the aftermath of the fight between Kimbella and Chrissy. I use the term fight loosely considering Kimbella was sucker punched and then stomped while she was on the ground while she was naked. LOL! She clearly didn't come for a fight; a dress with no undergarments??? Chrissy said that when Kimbella kicked her with her shoes on, she took that really personally. I think I would take it personally if you socked me in my face with all your weight behind it without me knowing it was even coming, OOMPA LOOMPA!!! Just silly and sad that grown women would engage in such foolishness. After all, Kimbella was just "endorsing Emily's decision to move on." HAHA! Gotta love it.

I will say that we as women need to learn to established names for ourselves other than mother of and wife of...Each episode Kimbella has be referred to as Juelz's girl or the mother of Juelz's child. (SN: When someone brings up a woman named Brea, someone asks, "Who is Brea?" and Yandy responds, "Juelz's 1st baby mama"). I mean really, what else are you known for? Time for you to take ownership over your life and do something with yourself other than lay on your back. She is already seen as a groupie for being with Fab. She apologizes to Emily, but her only excuse for it all is that she was single. Huh? Single means whoring around? I must be doing everything wrong then...

I think Kimbella is a beautiful Black woman and I want her to begin to love herself as much as she ACTS like she does. Sometimes we pretend to be confident, but our lack of love for ourselves still shines through. She's a mother now and from this point forward, I don't care whose woman she is, she is no longer single...she's a mother and that title alone should make her think about how her actions affect her and her child. Grow up Kimbella!

Now I do appreciate Kimbella apologizing to Emily, but why are you asking about what happened in their "relationship?" Let it go Emily! Dating or f---ing? Does it matter? You were pregnant and he was with another woman. Nuff said! Regardless of whether or not Kimbella knew about Emily does not change the fact that Fab was seeing other women while Emily was carrying his child. He's a man-whore and he has no respect for women. No longer will I see his videos or listen to his music and not, in the back of my mind, think LOSER!! Emily keeps saying that she is moving on...stop talking about it and be about it. I'm not convinced. Let's see how the rest of the season plays out. I'm still rooting for her though.

It doesn't help that Emily's getting advice from someone who is in denial that her relationship is a disaster, Chrissy. When she's talking to Jimmy about the fight, he's on his phone and not even paying attention. She seriously needs to leave this jerk alone. When Em and Chrissy talk at dinner about the fight, Em tells Chrissy that when Kimbella told her about her and Fab she didn't know what to say. Chrissy tells her that she "didn't have to tell her its cool cuz its not." Sad. here this woman wanted to move on and let it go and you took it upon yourself to fight a battle that was already won. Then she goes on to tell Em, "Nothing wrong with loving someone but you gotta love you first. If its for you he'll care for you, but if not then its not?" Really Chrissy listen to your own advice and leave Jim alone! I think she's really good about looking at everyone else's life and knowing right from wrong, but her heart is blinding her to the fact that Jimmy is not good for her. Probably and great guy, but they want different things out of life and she is wasting time hoping that he will one day change. Sigh...

Chrissy keeps saying she's misunderstood and people keep thinking she's a bully, but how can we think otherwise. The way she disrespectfully talks to Yandy, who is Jimmy's manager, is disgusting. Yandy stands her ground at all times. She's not afraid of Chrissy and I love that about her. She's about her biz. A check is important and like she said if it was all there was she wouldn't be with Jimmy. I guarantee he ain't bringing in the doe. Chrissy, you need to get a life and some respect and a CHECK for yourself! What is Chrissy's profession in life: Pitbull. SMH!

The award for "Hustler of the Year" goes to Somaya.  Glad she fired Tattoo. Granted he did get her recognized, but her fire for her grind will never go out. She is determined to make a name for herself. I mean she's "Somaya Resse!!!" LOL! I swear I will never forget that name and she won't let me because she says it about 20 times each episode. I give it to her though, she's a rockstar. Performing with her pants unzipped was funny...I applaud her for pressing on. Too funny!!

Learning to enjoy the quiet...

It's been so busy and noisy this year that this quiet I have right now is sooooo LOUD!!! I'm sitting here reading and just realized my phone hasn't made one sound this evening. I know that this is what I've been praying for, but now that it's here I don't know what to do with it. So much has been eliminated from my life over the past few months. Some people and things I willingly said goodbye to. Others were taken away from me and some decided to walk away for no reason as all. I'm not sure yet if all this "loss" will change me for the better, but I do know that it will change me for my good. That I know for certain.

For now, I just need to get used to the quiet. Just sounds so weird. My life has been a heavy metal song for so long, that the soft, classical music hurts my ears. Crazy I know....learning to enjoy it while it lasts.

Wow it will be December in a couple days....Wow...Okay back to my quiet reading LOL!

Sweet P

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I give thanks for all the blessings in my life ever day, but today is the day that I take time to reflect on the year, the good, the bad and the UGLY, and take account of everything that I am thankful for.

1. I woke up today in good health and spirits.
2. I've been blessed with another year with my Bianka who was able to attend my sister's wedding. Great memories!
3. Work was hectic, but I completed every project successfully. So proud of me!
4. I finally said goodbye to some broken friendships and relationships that I've been carrying around for too long. Lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. It was hard to do, but I am better for it.
5. I took more time for me this year. Started my weekly mani and pedis, wore makeup, dressed up more...took more time to pamper the most important person in my life.
6. Went on a few dates and was more open and available. Nothing developed with anyone. Even got my feelings hurt by someone I really liked, but it hasn't stopped me from believing in the magic of love. One day a very special man will come into my life and sweep me off my feet like Cinderella.
7. I got to see my favorite cousin in the whole world, Alvin, and finally meet his son, Aaron. I will so cherish the little time that we got to spend this year and hope to see them again real soon.
8. I cried. Not my usual I gotta be strong and hold it in cry, but I boo-hooed this year....a lot!!! It felt good. It was freeing. I cry all the time now LOL! No more holding back my true emotions. If I'm mad, I'm mad. If I'm sad, I'm sad. So much easier to reveal my feelings and deal with what's going on at that moment than to suppress it and allow the pain to fester into a sore.
9. My sister and brother in love got married. Such a beautiful day!
10. I didn't complete everything on my bucket list for the year, but I did half...better than nothing ;o)
11. I found my sexxy. Nuff said!
12. My DVR!! What would I do without Herman? He's my best buddy.
13. I said NO and it felt good. I realized that I can't do everything and stood up for myself.

Well the year isn't over and I'm sure that I will be adding more to this list before December 31. Having such a quiet and enjoyable day with Maxwell. I would have put him on the list, but my gratitude for him goes without saying ;o)

*Sweet P*

Love & Hip Hop: Why can't we all just get along??

Season 2 of "Love and Hip Hop" is underway and I must say these women live to entertain me. I'm not big on reality TV, but this show keeps my attention fo sho! After the first episode, I decided that I would provide my own recap of each episode.

Episode 1: "Still Look Pretty"

Way too much happened on the season opener, so I'm just gonna break down what I thought of everyone involved...

Mama Jones: She is a hot mess! Yes, she is funny, but it's also sad at the same time. I know she doesn't like Chrissy, but why be so disrespectful? Chrissy was mad wrong for calling her what she did, but she's a grown woman and needs to act like one. Why does she shop in the junior section of Macys???? Please mama mama please. That video was halarious!

Jimmy: He needs to put his mother in her place. I know he loves her, but I think he allows her to be who she is. He can put an end to it, but secretly....I think he likes the drama between them. Let me tell you this....if he was going to spend the rest of his life with Chrissy, he would make damn sure that his mother and her get along. I'm just sayin...Lose your ring and we are going to buy a new one??? Are you serious? And he didn't even look mad. And we can't get a ring for me?? Not even wanting to look at the ring for me??? How are we engaged?? Chrissy should have picked up her dignity and respect for herself, bought those earrings FOR HERSELF and walked out that store. Jimmy is a fool and he is NOT marrying her. It's time to let that ish go!

Chrissy: Now looka here...you can't tell any woman about herself until you clean up your own trashy backyard. She is insecure for sure. She did Kimbella the same way she did Somaya when she saw her. Just kept raggin on her clothes and how she looked. Who are you to judge you big oompa loompa? And you are happy that Emily is leaving Fab and doing her own thang...honey your man "lost" his engagement ring. Get a life! She is a disgrace to women everywhere. I am happy she does not have a child to witness this. 

Kimbella: I don't know what went down with Dipset and really don't care lol. She needed to humble herself and come into that situation with no agenda or bias. It didn't help that Chrissy clearly was not receptive. I can understand how Kimbella could be defensive with the tension in the room and feel ganged up on. Still hold your head up and don't give them anything to use against you. She did a good job with the first encounter...now I do not think she should have even gone to the thing at Emily's. Not even sure what that gathering was. LOL! Don't think it was the right place for her or the manager chick (where she came from idk lol). Anyway, the way she said it was okay, but she could have told her to the side later on another day. Emily handled it very well, but OOMPA LOOMPA wanted to make it bigger than it needed to be. Why are you so mad at her? But not mad at you man for "losing" his engagement ring?? I'm just saying. She's a bully and the way she went at her...Kimbella did not deserve that. That fool was just taking all her anger towards everything else in her unhappy life out on her. Get a punching bag and go to work on them abs instead, OOMPA LOOMPA. Kimbella gets the award for best line though..."I'm still pretty!" LOVES IT!!

Olivia: WHACK!!! Watching her is just embarrassing. Her and her bamma manager. Why does he talk like he's rapping? I can't take those 2 fools.

Somaya: She could use a diet regimen. I respect her hustle, but get a new manager and image. She needs a mentor.

Emily: Proud of her for moving on finally and I loved her convo with her daughter. That's a good mother. I pray she keeps her head up and walks tall AND leaves Fab alone for good, but from what I can see...she goes back like a dummy. SMH


Well that's my $0.02. Not that anyone cares. One thing that I do enjoy about this show is that the women have real issues. I know some of it is staged, but if you look deeper, you can see a lot of the daily inner battles that us "regular women" go through. I hope to use them as teaching tools for myself and other single or attached women out there.

Until next time, I'm still pretty LMAO!!

Sweet P

My Brian...

About 6 years ago, he had a heart attack at the age of 36. Since then, he's been in a battle with Sarcoidosis. It's been a rough road. He was doing so much better, but since the beginning of October he's been in the hospital. It doesn't look good.

Our friendship over the years has been some of the best and worst times of my life and we both let stupid, trivial, insignificant BS keep us apart. Well not too long before he went into the hospital, we reconciled. We chipped away at all that stuff that had built up and uncovered our precious gem of a relationship. Next to my sister, he's the only person that knows me inside and out. The first man that I loved in a way that I can't describe with words. The only person has who trusted me with their deepest, darkest secrets and who in turn has kept a few of mine. Not sure what my life would have been without him in it. I'm grateful that my friend is back, but oh so sad that he is sick.I haven't spoken to him since October 18. He doesn't want me to worry about him, but he doesn't know that keeping me away makes me worry more.

All this just hit me today because I heard this song. I really, really miss him.

I'm conceited...I got a reason!

Wow! I haven't blogged in a long time. The last few months have been like a crazy storm mixed with tennis ball sized hail, knock you off your feet winds, hard rain mixed with a flood of tears and dark clouds with hints of warm sunshine peeking through. Emotionally, I was done. Mentally, I was drained. Spirituality, I felt dead. But physically, I always smiled. I smiled because in my heart I knew that this too shall pass. No need to wear the misery I was feeling because I made it was temporary. I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for sometimes.

Things have settled down now and I am piecing my life back together. I have given way too much to everything and everyone else and neglected the most important person in my life...Sweet P! This past weekend I got some much needed sleep and now I feel revived. Like I just gave birth to something amazing. Did some thinking too about my life and the me that I am today and an overwhelming feeling of love spilled over. There are some places that I want to strengthen and some new things I want to build, but I love Phyllis. So much in fact that there are some people who don't deserve the right to be her friend. LOL! I was talking to a sister-friend of mine yesterday who said that I am "good on and off paper." Love her for truly loving me enough to tell me the truth about myself. Tired Phyllis has dropped some balls this year, but luckily rest, prayer and my inner superwoman beat that  Funky P up and brought back Phenomenal P.

Phenomenal Woman

By: Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s (Sweet P)!!!

May your day be without drama...

So it's been raining for a few days now. I've always loved the rain, but there's something about this rain that is so beautiful to me. This morning as it hit my windshield my spirit overflowed with joy. Sounds crazy, but the rain gave me so much hope. Bear with me. I'm so about to take this to a whole nutha level....

With the earthquake, Hurricane Irene, and now this tropical storm, I can't help but feel that God is preparing us for something amazing. Just like Noah with the ark...God asked Noah to trust Him and do everything He asked (even though it didn't make sense). After the flooding, the earth was cleansed of everything wicked and all that was left was life. I think the storms represent those hard things in life that we deal with. Yes the winds are harsh and strong. They will knock the breath out of you and tear some stuff up that get in its path. But be still. Once everything clears, the sun ALWAYS comes out.

This is what I was reminded of this morning as I drove into work. My heart is smiling. I skipped to the metro and my newspaper guy who greets me each morning said, "Good morning beautiful. May your day be without drama." WOW! Then the saxophone player serenaded me as I danced into work. Today is no different from any other day. It's just my attitude that's different.

 Having a fantabulous day ON PURPOSE!!

*Sweet P*

R.I.P. Aaliyah...10 years and it feels like yesterday...

I will never forget the day that Aaliyah died. Hit us all hard because it came out of no where. Didn't know her personally, but knew her beautiful spirit. She was one of a kind and her style and music has NEVER been duplicated. This is also the 14 year anniversary of my Aunty Frances (mom's sister). So many angels smiling today...may their souls rest in eternal peace.

One of my favorite Aaliyah songs, "It's Whatever." R.I.P Baby Girl

Bet it sucks to be you right now...

Now this has been my song for some time, but today I ran into Ike AGAIN!! I looked him dead in his eye and kept on moving. I heard the little man say, "I know you're not gonna just walk by me." I smiled as I did just that...walked by singing, "I bet it sucks to be you right now" in my head. There was no love loss here, but he did show his ass and I did see the real him, so yeah...He turned out to be the best thing I never had and I'm gon' always be the best thing he never had. BOOM!! hahaha

And I sing this to all of the others who missed on this here hot fudge sundae....

Thank God you blew it

Thank God I dodged a bullet

I'm so over you 

So baby good lookin out

Oh and....

I know you want me back

It's time you face the facts

That I'm the one who got away

Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life

Thank God I found the good in goodbye

Bet it sucks to be you right now!!!!

*Sweet P*

But yesterday was different..

So yesterday I experienced my first earthquake. It was the freakiest thing to have the floor move under your feet and watch the building move. I didn't have too much damage to my home. Just some broken pictures and glass and objects all over the floor. Nothing that can't be easily fixed or repaired. I was more shaken up than anything. One thing that did occur to me is that in times of turmoil, you always know how important you are to some folks. I always sit back when there is a snowstorm or some major event and see who calls to check in on me. Whose mind do I happen to cross....Who cares whether or not I'm okay....Who wants to extend a helping hand...Usually, I'm that person for everyone else, but rarely am I on the receiving end. Usually its okay. I brush it off because there is a higher power who ALWAYS has His hands on me.

But yesterday was different...

I was already sad about the day. It was the day I lost him. The absolute saddest day of my life. The only topic that I can't really speak on because nothing but sorrow comes from it. Every year I just press through it and before you know it the sadness settles and the smile returns. Peace is restored and I move on. But like I said, yesterday was different...

Because I was already tender...when I reached out to everyone I knew to make sure they were all okay, I was depleted. The little strength I had, I gave to everyone else, so when those very few individuals that I hoped to hear from didn't even call...it kinda hurt more that it should have. I should be used to it by now huh? Naw, I'm human so some things penetrate passed my Superwoman exterior like kryptonite.

I do appreciate when people show me who they really are though. It helps me treasure those gold nugget friends that I do have and shows me who my gold-plated friends really are.

Very interesting....

*Sweet P*

It takes a special guy to date Sweet P

I reconnected with an old friend recently. Always good to have a friend of the opposite sex to help keep you grounded and give you advice about life. We got to talking about my love life. Not sure how this topic always comes up in my conversations. Everyone wants to know why I'm still single and who I'm dating....anyway, like I told him, I'm still kissing frogs and hoping that one turns into a prince. LOL! Told him about the only 2 guys I've dated this year, one of those being Mr. Ike Turner. He then gave me some advice for any man who comes into my life...

1. He should be very patient in getting to know me. He needs to understand where I am coming from and not take things personally. I can be blunt and if he's not strong, I will break him down. I burst out laughing after he said that because it is sooooo true. My humor is kinda cut-throat and I can be too much for some people.
2. He should be confident. For the reasons in #1, he needs to be sure about himself and have some backbone. I'm not a needy woman and my strength could be intimidating for some men. I do however understand the man's role in my life and know how to shut up and submit...when its called for ;-) 
3. He needs to be handy. This got another gut busting laugh from me. Again, true!! He said, and I quote, "He doesn't have to be Bookman, but there will be some small jobs that he will need to take care of." Funny! The good thing is that I like to learn to do things for myself. If it's a task I can't do, I want to watch and learn how to do it for next time.

My bmf says that if any man in my life can handle these things, then he will be the luckiest man in the DMV. He said once the lucky man is in, its a beautiful thing. So sweet...I know that it takes a special man to be with me. I won't settle for anything less. And no woman of worth should...

*Sweet P*

Just one of those days...

Every single person I have come in physical contact with today has plucked my damn nerves. I don't know if it's me or if everyone thought it was "Mess with P Day." UGH!! On metro, passengers were extra funky and nasty. One stepped on my foot and looked at me like I slapped them. Folks at work kept giving me reasons to cut them and my mother thought today was the perfect day to bug me about uploading the pictures I have from my sister's wedding. On top of everything, this crappy blackberry I'm typing this on is freezing up!!!! Grrrrr!!!

I just can't wait to get home a prepare my steaks that I've had marinading overnight. That will be the best part of my day fo sho!! Well that and the hurting I plan to put on Maxwell tonight. I'm surely in a mood and need a sign on my forehead that says "Beware. I bite...HARD!!" Heck I'm actually getting on my own nerves right now listening to myself gripe on about absolutely nothing.

AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE....I miss my metro stop. Ain't this a BLEEP....

Wooooosaaaaaahhhhh! Getting it all out actually makes me feel a little better, but just a little.

It's just one of those days and Sweet P will return tomorrow. I hope....

*Stinky P* LMAO!

Black men survive longer in prison than out: study: MedlinePlus

Article: Black men survive longer in prison than out: study: MedlinePlus

Very interesting article. Why is it that people who have broken the law are entitled to better care than those of us that live law-abiding lives? It's disheartening that a Black man who works 2 jobs, still cannot afford the health care to prevent future illness for him and his family, but a Black man who kills someone can go to prison and have free meds and doctor visits. Very sad. There are even cases now where people are committing crimes because they cannot afford the medications for their debilitating illnesses, just so that they can go to prison and have free care. SMH

I'm aware that a lot of this simply has to do with education. Black men don't always see their health as a priority. They are busy trying to take care of everything and everyone else. I know many men who don't go to the doctor regularly for checkups, go to the dentist, or get the annual exams for their age range and it has nothing to do with whether or not they can afford to do so. They just need a push...or a punch LOL!

So ladies, please make sure the men in your lives take care of their health. Don't nag them like you do with the dishes or the trash, but let him know how much you love him and that sexxy body of his. You want to grow old with him and live long enough to see your great-great grandkids. If he refuses to listen, just make sure you have a nice insurance plan out on him (sick joke, but you know me LOL).

Sickens me that this article says prison is a better place for my men...Something's gotta give!!!

*Sweet P*

No regrets...

I woke up with a lot of thoughts running through my head. Not in a bad way, but just reflecting on how different I am. 2010 ended with me feeling like I was in labor and who knew that what I would give birth to would feel this good. So as I laid in bed early this morning, I thought about how truly happy I am. Now I've always been content and enjoyed my life, but this year I've thought less about other people and more about myself.

During these past 7 months, I've laughed more than I have in years. That gut busting, old sailor laughter when tears run from your eyes. I've eaten foods that make me dance and didn't care about how fattening it was. I've taken more chances and haven't stopped myself from doing something out of fear. Don't get me wrong, the fear is still there; I just do it afraid. Along the way, people and things around me have become clearer in this journey. I've had to say goodbye to some folk and make some tough decisions. Decisions that have been life-changing and freeing and as I sit here now the only question I have is, What took me so long to get here?

This is the most appropriate time for this "new mindset." Not sure the Pre-2011 P could have handled this power. She would have cried over some of the stuff I've done. She would made herself crazy thinking and worrying about things that are beyond her control. The thing is, I have no idea how long I will continue to have breath in my body. Why waste time wondering if this is right or wrong...

Before I would hold in stuff for the sake of other people's feelings...Now I say whatever is on my mind. If you don't like it or don't get that I'm playing with you, that's your problem.

Before I wouldn't wear mini-dresses because I hated my knees or I thought my butt was too big AND only wore neutral nail polish...Now, I've worn more short dresses this year than I have worn my entire life AND I love, love, love colors on my feet and hands. I do my nails every week and have become a color whore!!

Before I would go to bed no later than 9 p.m. because I needed to get up early for work and didn't want to be tired...Now, a sista will be out until the wee hours of the morning 3 days straight and go to work with 2 hours of sleep and still be productive and on top of my game.

I've had some experiences this year that the Pre-2011 P would have over-thought or talked herself out of. Now I really don't have any cares or worries. If at that very moment what I'm doing brings me more joy, makes me smile or feels so damn good...I go for it! No regrets...

*Sweet P*

Ike Turner: The dead done risen

Why oh why can't some men just stay gone???

Okay, so I'm walking to CVS this morning in a pretty good mood for a Monday after a busy weekend. I wore a dress today because its going to be hot. Got a couple compliments from some passer-byers that made me feel good because the dress stayed in the closet because I couldn't zip it once upon a time. Today, a sista even has room to breathe in it...Watch out 'der now! Working on that new mindset...

So who do I see at the end of the street smiling at me...Ike Turner. I did my best to not roll my eyes or turn the other way and avoid him. When I got closer he said, "Hello George-ous!" I then regretted ever sharing my George-isms with him, for he is not worthy. LOL! I simply said, "Hi." Mind you, I didn't stop walking. He then says, "Can you stop to talk to me for a minute?" to the back of my head because I have now passed him. I continue to walk and turn to say, "Sorry I'm in a hurry." That brothas smile disappeared. Poor thing...

I immediately tell my cousin that I just saw Ike and she asks, "Turner? Didn't he die?" I told her that was my nickname for ole boy and yes both of them died. One physically. One figuratively. LOL! I so love my life.

By the time I got back to my office, I had 7 missed called and 5 texts from Ike. *bbm straight face* Seriously!!?? The texts said: You looked really good. We should do lunch sometime. How you been? I really miss you. I really messed up. Let me make it up to you. Why oh why Ike?? He was doing so good and staying away. I have absoluetly no desire to even respond and say stop contacting me. Only question I have is for myself: What the heck were you thinking messing with that tiny, angry Black man? LMBO!!!

R.I.P. Ike...

*Sweet P*

Happy Hump Day!!

Sleep has been a friend that I have not had the pleasure of  spending time with lately. Last night we reconnected and had a ménage à trois with Maxwell...it was beautiful. I woke up with a smile on my face and a song on my heart. Just one of those days where you feel so damn good, for no damn good reason.

To top it off, I'm driving into work and Simply Red, "Holding Back the Years," comes on my XM radio. I'm sure the whole DMV heard me scream YESSSS! This song right here! Classic and timeless. So because this is my song and the words....the words....those words...my dramatic butt was in the car singing and swaying to those horns like someone was paying me for my performance. Then I looked over at the car next to me and this man was singing and swaying with me. (Days like this I realize that I'm not the only fool in the world and my craziness is validated). Interesting enough the light was still red, so we had a good ole time. Then he yells over, "Miss Lady you have made my day." I gave him my classic head tilt smile and said, "Happy Hump Day!"

The truth is I can't take all the credit. Something about this song...It's like it starts out sad, but then in the middle you let the sadness go, and then by the end only hope remains. So thanks to Simply Red, me and my singing partner will have a good day on purpose.

Enjoy...

*Sweet P*

If a fairy were to grant me 3 wishes, they would be...

1. A cure for all diseases, but if I had to choose one it would be HIV/AIDS.
2. That my mother lives a long, joy-filled life and only sheds tears of joy.
3. That I live to see the day when I fully understand why everything I've endured up to this very moment and everything that I have yet to overcome in my future...had to happen in order for me to have the peace that I am THIS CLOSE to experiencing.

Now, if she can take care of these 3 things...I can handle the rest ;-)

*Sweet P*

New me, New mindset...

Okay, so as you can see from my weight loss progress, I have lost 6 lbs! That means I've lost about 15 lbs overall since I started trying to get physically fit. This is supposed to be a good thing right...Well wrong! I just feel like I'm in the wrong body. I just don't feel like myself.

I think I've just been so okay with my lumps and bumps. Clothes are not as tight and I'm finally a true size 8, shoot almost a size 6! I know that this is what I was working so hard for, but I miss my curves. My sis and brolaw say I need to now build muscle and tone, but for me the cardio was easier to do. Something's gotta give...I'm sure that this may sound crazy to some who are struggling with weight loss. I mean a while ago, I would have never thought I would say, "I feel too small." I really need to change my mindset and refocus my attention on my overall health and wellness and stop paying attention to the number on the scale.

Lord, help me embrace this smaller, healthier me!!!

*Sweet P*

Happy 40th Birthday Tupac Amaru Shakur!

Wow! Time flies. Today Tupac would have been 40 years old. Gone waaaay too soon, but left a body of work that will live on for years. There was a lot of negativity associated with him and his death was not pretty, but he had a heart and a passion for shining a light on the injustices of this world. I will always respect his intentions in the upliftment (if that's even a word lol) of black people as a whole. 

Today let's not speak ill of him or focus our attention on some fool who claims to have shot him. Time to put it all in the past and toast it up to Tupac, who I am sure is partying for his birthday...

Proud of me!

As you can see from my weight counter, I have lost 3 lbs since I started incorporating eating healthier and working out consistently. YAY me! So far the only challenge has been trying to figure out what to eat and when. I have some pretty bad habits that I need to break and I am doing them slowly, but surely. I am not depriving myself of anything. I still have cookies, but maybe just 2. I still eat chips, but only half the bag. I still have a coke, but only 1 a week. Overall, by biggest achievement has been moving my body. I'm walking, I'm running, I'm going to zumba, I'm doing crunches, I'm no longer just sitting still and complaining about not liking the way my clothes fit. Even this Saturday, I really wanted to sleep in, but I pressed my way to my zumba class and had a great workout. I'm glad I went because weighing in was my reward for all the hard work I have done over the past couple months.

There will be bad days, but my mindset is different now. No more beating myself up about it. I will just make the next day better than the day before. YAY me!

*Sweet P*

Saluting my best friend: Stephanie George

Today is National Best Friend's Day and I want to take this time to recognize my best friend and sister, Stephanie George. There is no one in this world who knows me like she does. We are inseparable and my life would truly have been less bright without her. Just today we had one of those honest conversations that I know made us just a little bit closer, if that's even possible. LOL! I like when we can discuss stuff that doesn't feel too good and still smile in the end.

Next month, she will be marrying her other best friend, Will, and we will no longer be "The George Girls." *bbm sad face* However, the bond that we share is thick and nothing can penetrate it. Just gotta get used to pulling back a bit and I've been practicing that lately. LOL! This is the part of the story where new families begin and other pieces of the puzzle form. Looking forward to this new chapter and will treasure all the happy moments of the past.

So on National Best Friend's Day I honor my twin sister, my heart, my reason for living....Stephanie George! Love you like a fat kid loves cake ;-)

Happy Birthday Prince, my love!!!!

My Baby!!

Happy Birthday to my one and only Prince Rogers Nelson! Love me some him. If you know me well enough, you know that he holds a special place in my heart. Today, he gets special recognition and I've been playing his music all day. Here is my favorite Prince song of all time:

Let's Celebrate my 100th posting!!!!

Yesterday was my 100th blog posting! Wow!! 100 postings. 100 ramblings of Phyllis. 100 expressions of thoughts that spin through this single woman's head. Wow!! I have to say that I am so proud of me and how far I have come. I went from only being known as Sweet P and sharing my blog with a couple people to displaying pics of myself, using my real name, broadcasting my blog on Facebook and opening up to the world about stuff that I've never expressed out loud to anyone. That's growth!!

As we begin the half-year mark, I thought it was a good time to check in with my goals for 2011 and see how I have been doing. Like I told you I have a list of 11 things that I want to accomplish by the end of 2011. So far I have:

1. Had a romantic date. It was with Ike, but it still counts LOL!
2. Asked someone out on a date. Again with Ike, but counting it. I hope to ask someone else out soon though ;-)
3. Worn make-up!! That's major for me. I've never been one to do more than lip gloss and that I just started a couple years ago. Now when I go out sometimes I do eyeshadow, mascara, and lip gloss. YAY me!
4. Worn a mini dress!!! Now this was one of the hardest for me. I hate my knees. Don't ask. LOL! They just are not cute. This year I wanted to step out and show a little leg. (See picture) It took me all day to get the nerve to do it, but when I went out I felt pretty good. Looking at the picture makes my stomach turn, but I'm so proud that I got out of my comfort zone.

Well 4 goals down and 7 more to go! I'm feeling good. Even my sis keeps asking me, "Who are you?" HA!

*Sweet P*

Happy 85th Birthday Marilyn!!!!

June 1, 1926 - August 5, 1962

I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday and acknowledge a woman who has helped shape me into who I am today. She's given me the strength to be the best me I can be regardless of what other people think. Her no nonsense attitude and love for herself was admirable. She died too soon at the young age of 36, but LIVED a full life. She is my #1 person dead or alive that I wish I could meet.

Happy 85th Birthday Marilyn Monroe!

Here are some of my favorite Marilyn quotes:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." 

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love."

"If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything."

"If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty."

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."

"The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space."

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."

"Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?"

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets." 

And my all-time favorite quote...

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

So funny because at this very moment in my life, I'm living the lesson she taught me in that last quote. Love you Marilyn and the world misses your presence. 

*Sweet P*