No regrets...

I woke up with a lot of thoughts running through my head. Not in a bad way, but just reflecting on how different I am. 2010 ended with me feeling like I was in labor and who knew that what I would give birth to would feel this good. So as I laid in bed early this morning, I thought about how truly happy I am. Now I've always been content and enjoyed my life, but this year I've thought less about other people and more about myself.

During these past 7 months, I've laughed more than I have in years. That gut busting, old sailor laughter when tears run from your eyes. I've eaten foods that make me dance and didn't care about how fattening it was. I've taken more chances and haven't stopped myself from doing something out of fear. Don't get me wrong, the fear is still there; I just do it afraid. Along the way, people and things around me have become clearer in this journey. I've had to say goodbye to some folk and make some tough decisions. Decisions that have been life-changing and freeing and as I sit here now the only question I have is, What took me so long to get here?

This is the most appropriate time for this "new mindset." Not sure the Pre-2011 P could have handled this power. She would have cried over some of the stuff I've done. She would made herself crazy thinking and worrying about things that are beyond her control. The thing is, I have no idea how long I will continue to have breath in my body. Why waste time wondering if this is right or wrong...

Before I would hold in stuff for the sake of other people's feelings...Now I say whatever is on my mind. If you don't like it or don't get that I'm playing with you, that's your problem.

Before I wouldn't wear mini-dresses because I hated my knees or I thought my butt was too big AND only wore neutral nail polish...Now, I've worn more short dresses this year than I have worn my entire life AND I love, love, love colors on my feet and hands. I do my nails every week and have become a color whore!!

Before I would go to bed no later than 9 p.m. because I needed to get up early for work and didn't want to be tired...Now, a sista will be out until the wee hours of the morning 3 days straight and go to work with 2 hours of sleep and still be productive and on top of my game.

I've had some experiences this year that the Pre-2011 P would have over-thought or talked herself out of. Now I really don't have any cares or worries. If at that very moment what I'm doing brings me more joy, makes me smile or feels so damn good...I go for it! No regrets...

*Sweet P*