Bye Bye Summer...

It was so chilly this morning!! Very bittersweet. Sad to say goodbye to the warm weather, but excited about this new season. This morning is when I finally accepted that summer is gone and some clothing items need to be put away until next year. Boo hoooooo! I will miss the heels and pretty sundresses and cute shorts and tops and all the outfits that I got to run the town with this summer. It was a hell of a ride! My head is still spinning from all the fun. Not one single solitary dull moment and I have 1 million pictures to prove it LOL! Good times with family and friends (old and new). And even better times with my homie lover friend, Calvin.

Great memories were made during the "Summer of 2013." Now I just want to BE STILL!!!! I requested from my circle of people a "me weekend." I just want some time to myself to do absolutely nothing. I miss those days…I'm in a place of such transition right now. The next year has the possibility for so many life-changing events and I want to have some time to catch my breath from everything over the past 2 years. From weddings to heartache to babies to new love to new job to LIFE....I'm spent! I just want to enjoy a little quiet time…It's funny, I think I blogged once about the quiet feeling so noisy. Now all I want is silence.

Sigh…

I have a feeling that this new season will be the calm before the storm. Not saying that something bad is going to happen, but there could be a lot of things that I will have to juggle at the same time or big events that I will have to plan and I just want to take the time out now to focus on my favorite person in the whole wide world – ME!

So at this very moment, I have no time for anything that will cause me stress. I have no desire to engage in any activities that do not bring me pleasure. I refuse to give energy to anything or anyone that makes me frustrated, sad or angry. In my spare time, I will be strengthening my faith, working on being an even better P and nurturing relationships that matter most to me. Anything outside of that can KICK ROCKS!!

I suggest that rather than mourn summer, you embrace this upcoming season with open arms. Hibernation means that you remain dormant and inactive for the winter. Don't do that! Start a new activity that you always wanted to try. Make contact with an old friend and talk to them face to face instead of through email or text. If there is something in your life that you are not happy with, actively work to change that. Most importantly, take a little time to give back to yourself and don't feel bad about it.

Don't let this fall/winter pass with regrets. 

Sweet P

"We who believe in freedom cannot rest..."

I haven't discussed the Zimmerman verdict with many people. It's just too despicable to talk about. Times like this all you can do is pray for better. It's sad that he was found not guilty (not even manslaughter was handed down), but it's even more sad that I wasn't surprised. As much as I wanted the world that I live in to get it right this time, I knew in my heart that the jury OF HIS PEERS would see that somehow he was justified in his actions that rainy night of February 26, 2012. 

Race was an issue that night. It is an issue today. And it will continue to be an issue until we come together and have real understanding of each other and love for one another. It can't happen if we profile our innocent, young black men who are just trying to get home late at night. It can't happen if we ridicule the last person who spoke to Trayvon that night because she doesn't look or speak the way you expect her to...Side Note: It disgusts me that we as Blacks found it fun and funny to talk about Rachel Jeantel, rather than encourage and lift her up.

Civil Rights Activist, Ella Josephine Baker once said, "Until the killing of black men, black mothers' sons, becomes as important to the rest of the country as the killing of white mothers' sons, we who believe in freedom cannot rest." Nope, this wasn't said last week. It was 1964. I love Sweet Honey in the Rock's "Ella's Song." It's so powerful. Today, when I listened to it, after everything that's happened, I sobbed for all the Trayvon's that didn't even have a chance in this daily battle against Injustice.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6 )

Praying for America,
*Sweet P *

What a difference a year makes...

Calvin and I are celebrating 1 year as a couple!!! WOOOOOW! Who woulda thunk it! I had no idea that when we went out that lovely Saturday afternoon in May 2012 that we would be here. It truly has been a life-changing experience for me. I'm definitely not the P that I was this time last year. This relationship has broken me and built me up at the same time. My life used to be comfortable, quiet and easy. HAAAA! All that has be thrown out the window for spontaneous, LOUD, crazy, outta control and insane. But....I wouldn't have it any other way because at the same time it's been fun, exhilarating, HA-larious and so extremely rewarding.

So after 1 year, here are the top 10 things that I have learned:

1. Relationships are HARD WORK!!! Yes indeedy!! Nothing about it is easy. You will argue. You will cry. Your feelings will be hurt. You will be ready to do bodily harm to the other person. Then you will turn around and want to kiss them. There will be rocky moments; it can't be avoided. But the good always outweighs the bad. When you are with who God designed for you, it ALWAYS has a way of working itself out and gets even better with time.
2. I'm not OK with being single. Period. Who was I fooling? It's not fun cooking all the time for one. I don't enjoy sleeping alone all the time (most of the time I do though LOL). I wasn't meant to live this life solo. Calvin and I are a dynamic duo. Like Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, Beauty and the Beast, Fred and Wilma Flintstone and Superman and Lois Lane. We just fit and neither of us will ever be "OK" without the other person ever again.
3. Not everything needs to be planned out or have a to-do list attached to it. I'm a perfectionist by nature. Lists for everything. I will plan a happy hour a month in advance. This relationship has tested all of that. What list? What plan? I could get a call today saying, "Be ready at 12. We are going to hang out." Hang out? What do I wear? Where are we going? HAAAA! Do you think I get answers to that?? Nope! I've learned to just be ready for anything. It was so hard for me at first, but now I go with the flow and love every minute of it. Calvin brought stupid, spur-of-the-moment fun into my life.
4. Its OK to lean and depend on someone else. Even if I'm disappointed; it's not the end of the world. Letting go makes my life much lighter. I've always been the man and woman in my life, so sometimes I forget that there is someone there who has my back. I can ask for help, even if I CAN do it myself. I need him around and I show him just that.
5. Love doesn't have to hurt. I read a quote that says, "Every woman deserves a man who will ruin her lipstick and not her mascara." So true. Being in love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Love doesn't lie to you, cheat on you or make you feel less than. It lifts you, frees you and makes you feel more alive.
6. There is a huge difference between dating and courting. That one you have to figure out on your own. Dating is easy. Courting requires more from you. Its the coursework for the final exam....Marriage. 
7. If it will make everything peaceful, just say "I'm sorry" even if you're not the one at fault. It doesn't take anything from you. It actually adds more than you know. 
8. Pick your battles. Bite your tongue. Some things just aren't worth the fight.
9. Appearances do matter. He likes it when you dress up and take time to look sexy for him. Keep the fire going. Keep him wanting more. Keep you on his mind 24/7.
10. Baltimore isn't all that bad. I guess...LOL

I'm looking forward to more and more lessons and growing old with my best friend.

Singing, it's our anniversary....

Sweet P

"Dark Girls" on OWN Sunday @ 10pm EST

On Sunday, June 23 at 10:00 pm EST, Oprah is premiering "Dark Girls" on OWN. 

Dark Girls is a fascinating and controversial film that goes underneath the surface to explore the prejudices dark-skinned women face throughout the world. It explores the roots of classism, racism and the lack of self-esteem within a segment of cultures.

This is an topic that is near and dear to my heart. In my blog "She's pretty for a dark skin girl.", I spoke of my issues growing up as a "dark-skinned" girl and how long it took to embrace all of my hot chocolaty-ness in a society where lighter skin was seen as better. My hope is that people will watch this documentary and use this as a discussion piece to help us unlock some of the crap that has kept us changed for way too long.

Sweet P

I am more beautiful than I think.

I was talking to a friend and he was commenting on how pretty I am. Not just pretty, but amazingly beautiful with model-like features. After I stopped laughing I said thank you and told him that I wish I saw what he saw. Yes, I can see beauty in myself and have grown over the years to love even the flaws, but sometimes all you can focus on are the flaws. That gets in the way of your overall perception of yourself.

After our conversation he sent me this Dove video and said that I reminded him of it. Its so powerful and so very true. We can be so critical of ourselves and others don't see half of what we see. I think this holds true for men and women. I'm going to work on speaking more positively about myself AND looking more for the good in others and focus less on the bad.

I also want to be mindful that people around me feed off my energy. If I wear my happiness, it looks better than if I put on down in the dumps. Today I'm feeling so blah, but no one else needs to know that. Anyone coming in my office today would think I was on top of the world. No point in making the ugliness show on the outside.

Sweet P

I wish that I could have this moment for life...

What a difference a year makes!! Last year this time I was getting ready to celebrate another birthday and was just blah. I wasn't unhappy; I was very much at peace. But I was just in a quiet place and didn't want the rah rah I usually engage in for my birthday. I had dinner with the fam and had this feeling in my bones that my life was going to go on a wonderful journey. I had no idea that it would take off with this speed, but I love every minute of it.

When I set out last year to live life more abundantly and to do it even if I'm afraid, I didn't know that God was going to really put me to the test. I've done things and been places and felt feelings that I never imagined I'd encounter. I even got weaved up (see picture)!!! So completely out of my character! And now after a few days, I'm loving my new look. Long hair don't care LOL!

I'm leaving  tomorrow to celebrate my birthday on the beach. A vacation that is long overdue and oh so needed! The best part is that I get to spend time with my bff, the love of my life (and his b-day is the day after mine). So excited! This will be our first trip away together. The first time we have spent this much time together. And the first time I have ever in my life traveled with a man....it should be very interesting and thrilling at the same time. I think we will both learn so much about one another that will take our relationship to a whole nutha level.

Right now, my heart is overflowing with all the love that I have experienced the last year. I have my niecey poo who makes me smile just by being around her. Then there's my mom, sis and bro who make my life easier when I pretend like I'm superwoman. It's nice to have people in your corner who TRULY care about you. Lastly, but certainly not the least, is my Calvin. My all-time favorite song is "Wait for Love" by Luther. I've annoyed many people singing this. I swear the song was made just for me. So so happy I waited for the love he sings about. "I was hoping one day there could be a chance for me to get the love that I been missin'. Sometimes love takes a long time, but wait for love and you're gonna get the chance to love." Well my time is now and I'm on cloud 9!

All this began with God, who gave me a peace that surpasses all understanding. That peace opened me up to so much. As I cross over into another year of life, I'm filled with such gratefulness. This joy I have, can't nothing or nobody take it away.

I wish that I could have this moment for life!

Happy Birthday to ME...and my baby!

*Sweet P*

Blog title change???

I've had a few people ask me about changing the title of my blog. I guess they think since I'm in a relationship it's time to switch out the "single" in the title. Puh-lease! That would be cool to do....if I was married!! 

When I complete my tax forms, I'm single. You don't get any credits for that. When the census folk come around, I'm single. Family of 1. When the bills come to the house, its clear that a sista is single. Only 1 income up in dis here piece! So why in the world would I change my title? My marital status is SINGLE. Single does not mean available. I'm currently involved, but still a single woman. And hey if I did decide to change the title, what would I change it to? Hmmm.

Funny thing is I never even thought of changing my status. Didn't cross my mind at all. I still embrace my singleness. Enjoy time to myself. Love being able to come and go freely. Don't get me wrong, I always consider my significant other and he's a huge part of my life, but I AM my first love. Being single rocks at times. And one day this single gal will share a home with a man who may not be as neat as I am and maybe I'll have a couple snotty-nosed children running around....I'm living it up while I can.

So basically, when they call all the single ladies to the floor to catch the bouquet, I'm still eligible. Until he decides to put a ring on it LOL

Sweet P

I'm a size 6!!!!

It's amazing what you can do when you get your lazy butt off the sofa! I've been sticking with eating right and exercising consistently, and the change I'm seeing in my body and overall health has been great! I feel better and much lighter. Working out is still not fun, but I have found ways to keep it from being boring. Now, I'm working on pushing myself beyond my comfort zone so that I can seen optimal results. The next step is to tone, tighten, lift, tuck, smooth, etc. LOL! Not striving for perfection, so just want to feel fab in my clothes and rock a bikini this summer.

Living healthier does not mean eating salads, fruits and veggies all the time. I still have some of my favorite foods, but I watch my portion sizes and stay away from the junk. I don't beat myself up for indulging; I just make sure that I do some activity to make it count. Seeing my mid-section shrink is the best motivation to keep going. My biggest issue these days has been my baggy clothes. Nothing fits right and pants are the worst! I guess its a good problem to have, but I need to pay a visit to the tailor ASAP. I went shopping this weekend for some new jeans and tried on a size 6 and they fit perfectly!!!! No longer am I a real-10 wearing a tight-8. I'm a size 6! Finally!!! Whoop whoop!!!

Feeling really proud of me :o)

Sweet P

I'm not me when I'm hungry...

Eating right is killing me and my mood. I'm so happy and jolly when I'm full and fat LOL. Sad, but true. Some days are better than others. I had to feed the beast yesterday and now I'm back smiling. Reminded me this morning of the Betty White Snickers commercial. This is so me! If you see me being crabby, don't take it personal, just feed me :o)

Oh and in case you were wondering....It's 2 months until my birthday!!! YAY!!!! This year I will be vacationing in paradise. Looking so forward to it. Haven't been on a vacation in 5 years!! That's disgusting. This one is long overdue and I plan to enjoy, enjoy and enjoy some more. So really I have 2 countdowns going because today makes 56 days until my B-day vacation. Whoop whoop!!! Do the dance and drop it low...

*Sweet P*

Happy Love Day!!

Today I'm recycling one of my old blogs. Nice when you read back and have to high-five yourself for such a great message...

Sending well wishes to all the true lovers in the world who don't care what day it is because everyday is Valentine's Day. May you continue to be blessed in your relationship. I wish you more laughter than tears. More joy than pain. More fun than fights. And above all...more love than your heart can hold. When that love spills over make sure that you spread it around to someone else who really needs a little in their life to pull them from the edge.

Today, I'm sharing my cup of love with the singles in the world who woke up dreading today. First be grateful for that breath you took this morning. Then shake that ish off. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. That's better than any candy or flowers you could get. I guarantee when Real Love finally comes you won't care what day it is just like those true lovers ;o)

And it's so very true...When you have someone who really loves you and not only tells you but SHOWS you...everyday is Valentine's Day.

Signed,

A True Lover

New Year, New Beginnings!

Happy New Year!! We are a month into 2013 and I feel so so good! I decided that this year was going to be awesome, and I might as well start off on the right foot. My goal is to be healthier spirituality, mentally and physically. What better way to achieve this than to start off 2013 with the 21-day Daniel Fast (look it up if you're interested). 

For the past few years, my church has participated in a group fast that involves, but is not limited to NO SUGAR, NO FRIED FOODS, NO MEAT and NO BREAD. Everything my tummy loves and craves on a daily basis. We basically only eat fruits, veggies, grains and ONLY drink water. Meaning no more Coke for P. This is why I never even considered engaging in it. Sounded like purgatory to me.

Well December 2012, I just felt like I needed a fresh start. I've been dealing with this weight issue for too long. Felt like I had the potential to be so much more, but was holding myself back. It was time I did the impossible, so I started the fast January 2. Honestly, I know me and wasn't sure how long I would last. What I did know is that I was not only doing this for me, but for God, so I figured I couldn't disappoint (but this hasn't stopped me in the past LOL). With the support of family and friends I took a major leap of faith for 21 days.....and beyond! Yes, I'm still fasting until the end of the month. Go me!!!

It's been difficult at times, but very rewarding. The results are crazy in this short period of time (see pics). I've lost about 11 lbs to date. I feel lighter. Clearer. Brighter. I have more stamina and exercising is not as hard. It's been shocking and exciting at the same time. God never asks much of me, but in turn gives me sooooo much. As long as I remain faithful...So after the 21 days, I decided to go to the end of the month. Took a little arm pulling, but I'm doing it. I'm planning to continue with a healthier lifestyle post-fast. Would be such a tragedy to ruin all this hard work. My goal is to wear a bikini on the beach for my birthday. Speaking of birthdays....

Today is 3 months until my big day!!!!!!!! YAY! 

The countdown begins...

*Sweet P*