Friday Foolishness :-D

I am soooooo ready to leave work today. (1) It's Friday!!! (2) It's Friday!!! (3) It's FRIDAY!!! (4) I don't want to be here. (5) I don't like people here. (6) It's freaking Friday, and (7) I get to hang out with my homegirl enjoying good food, company and laughs with a good friend. We plan to practice some flirting this evening, so this should be interesting...OH SNAP! Just got word that we can leave an hour early. Oh happy day! Anyway, please watch this foolishness below. It gave me a gut busting laugh for the day.

Have a fantabulous holiday weekend and be safe!

Today I'm *Styles P*

"She's pretty for a dark skin girl."

I can't count how many times I've heard, "You're pretty for a dark skin girl." People don't get how stupid that sounds. Then they look at you like something is wrong with you when you don't say thank you. Why can't I just be pretty? What does the color of my skin have to do with it? Growing up I HATED the skin I was in. I wanted to have lighter skin (and it didn't help that I was also the darkest in my family). I wished my hair was longer and straighter. I wished my nose wasn't so wide and my lips were smaller. I envied the lighter skin girls in my classes. Seemed that all the boys wanted them to be their girlfriends and I was just that really cool girl to hang out with. I even had one guy tell me that he really liked me, which was weird because I was a dark skin girl. HUH? But back then, I didn't get that they were just ignorant. I just thought something was wrong with me. It also, didn't help that the only man that was in my life would make comments like, "Why are you spending all that time in the mirror. There's nothing you can do with that face." Remember, what I said about parents....some things stay with you FOREVER!

The clips from this documentary are very moving. I could relate to these women on so many levels. Happy that today I love the skin I'm in, but wish I didn't have those moments in my past when I hated it so much. Sad part is that it wasn't the media or society that caused my internal struggle, but my own people. The one girl on here who said that she used to wake up and wish she was lighter and wash her face hoping the color would change, thinking "it was dirt and tried to clean it off but it wouldn't come off." My heart aches for her.

Took me a while to get here, for so many reasons, but I'm totally-head over heels-completely IN LOVE WITH PHYLLIS!!! She is beautiful because of her spirit that shines through in her smile and the gift of love that she sends out into the universe. I cry now for the little girl who didn't know this. Who was so lost for so long. Who didn't know she was worthy and deserved to be treated as such. Today when I look in the mirror I see ME, flaws and all, and I love every single part of what makes Phyllis phenomenal.

*Sweet P*

"My aim in life is never to be skinny," but I want to be healthy!

LOVE Adele!

Well I've been battling with this weight thing for some time. Exercise is just not fun to me. Eating cookies and brownies while drinking a coke and watching a movie on my sofa....that's what I call fun. However, I know it's not healthy. As I've gotten older my clothes fit differently and I get tired easily doing tasks that never bothered me before. Laziness is the reason I've sat around gaining weight and it's a disease I'm getting rid of today. The back and forth is over. I am making a conscious effort to be a healthier woman. Not to fit in an outfit or look good in pictures at my sister's wedding, but just so I can live a longer, richly fulfilled life.

OK so the first step is to hold myself accountable for my actions. Laila Ali is working on losing her baby weight and has challenged her fans to lose weight with her. She is using a tool called MyFitnessPal. You can enter you weight and track your accomplishments with the daily calculators. For any of you who are struggling to stay motivated, it may be something you might want to check out. We can add each other as friends and you can feel free to yell at me for no doing any exercising all week. I'm really competitive so seeing these numbers has me ready to reach my goal. I'm going to have a little counter on the side of my blog, so you can see my progress.

The only way this will work is if I am honest, so I promise to stay true to this process...So pouring my first glass of water now. They say I'm supposed to do 8 of these a day...prayer needed!

*Sweet P*

I'm the Magnificent...Say what, say what!!!

"I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross used to be my theme song, but I have replaced it with this song right here. Love, love love it! I imagine myself walking down the street while the song plays for all to hear. It's so true! How many times I've gone out and bruthas notice, but don't say a word or they do, but have no follow thru. It's a shame, shame, shame! You missin out on me....Love it!! And EVE, kills it. I know I'm messing her words all up, but this is what I rap while dancing in the car:

Ah yo, I’m the magnificent with the sensational style, YES!
Check the head-to-toe & don’t forget to smile. Bless!
If you was smart, you’d try to snatch it up.
Moving like a snail, when you gon’ catch up?
You on it cuz I’m all dat
Because you’re just a clown, now!
Ain’t worthy of the queen, probably, bow down!
Really bow out. How does that sound?
Had a chance in the past. Fall back now!
I mean way back. The light disappeared.
I see thru all of you when it’s so clear!
And I’m so good. How you so whack?
How you let this get away? You gon’ regret that!
Shawty so live from the 2-1-5. And you was too late...
Now I’m sayin bye bye!

....And it’s a SHAME!!!!! HAHA! And that face that Jill makes in the end....I do it all the time ;-)

*Sweet P*

My Public Service Announcement to Parents

I have one request of every parent in the world. I don't care if you are a biological parent, adoptive parent, single parent, step-parent, play parent, divorced parent, or someone who acts as a parent or mentor in a child's life. All I ask is that you show that young person the love and attention that they crave. I don't care about how bad your day is, how little time you have, all the stuff on your to-do lists that needs to be done....none of that matters. That bad is gonna pass, but how you treat your child on that day will stay with them forever. Children don't understand about everything that you have going on in your life. All they care about is that you love them and express your love for them with a smile, a hug, a "Have a nice day," an "I'm so happy to see you," etc.

See my childhood wasn't all that great. This weekend I got to thinking what a difference it would have made to hear I love you or I appreciate you or I'm so happy you are my daughter or you are pretty from BOTH parents. When a parent shows indifference or anger towards their child it leaves a mark. It saddens me that right now I cannot think of one endearing movement that I shared with my father. I think if he showed me more affection when I was younger, I would be a different person today. Actually, I know that to be a fact. It took me a long time to heal from my past. Each day brings me closer to the point of being somewhat whole, but memories from my childhood will forever leave me somewhat broken.

How can you be broken and happy at the same time? See, I've grown to understand that how I was treated is not who I am. I also had the love of my mother that helped shape me into a strong woman. My mother was always there. Her love for me and my sister is undying and unconditional. Thank God I had that growing up. I cry now for those children who don't feel valued by either parent. I don't care how many times they act like they are okay or how big their smile is...they are dealing with a pain that could manifest into something so evil.

So I implore you spend more quality-time with your children. When your child comes to you with a book to read or a picture that they drew, stop everything that you are doing and listen. When you pick up your child from school, greet them with a hug and a kiss. Ask them how their day was and listen. At dinner, cut off the television and eat at the dinner table. Create an atmosphere of family-time and listen to what is going on in the life of your child. It's the little things that you leave people with that matter. Not money or fancy clothes. My favorite part of my childhood was my mother reading to me at night. She's the reason why I was reading before everyone else in kindergarten and the reason why I love to read and write. Imagine if at the end of her day she went to her room and just watched television....

*Sweet P*

Life for me ain't been no crystal stair....

These past few weeks have been BLAH!!! Like Langston Hughes says in his poem, "Mother to Son,"

Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.

I have literally, as someone said on "Survivor," been "carried by God." If it wasn't one thing it was another. I have to say my time off prepared be for the storm. I was rested and knew exactly what to do to ride it out.

But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.

The enemy was busy in the lives of my family and friends. They were dealing with issues that were beyond their control and their pain hurt me. I believed God to do a good thing, but it would be in His time. All I had to do was think back on so many things that He had brought be from in the past....His body of evidence in my life proved that HE would prevail. It's like he was telling me....

So [P], don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --

And today, I smile for real. Cheesing...He made what seemed impossible, possible and I give Him all the praise. Shaken, but never stirred. ..

For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

*Sweet P*

I'm baaaaaaack!

Did you miss me???

I can't even put into words how rewarding my time off from the world has been. I reconnected with my inner pretty girl and put less focus on people and things. I've decided to make sure that I continue with this practice and have more selfish days here and there. And no better time than now....Tomorrow's my birthday!!! As you know, I'm a little ridiculous when it comes to celebrating another year. It's just that it is such a beautiful gift to have. With everything going on in the world, with all the people close to you that you have lost...how can you not be grateful for having a whole nutha year to dance, to laugh, to act a fool! Such a treasure and I always enjoy it to the fullest.

So now I'm going to continue being selfish for a few more days. I will return in May to catch you up on me and ramble on with my nothingness that I know you love.

Until then....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

*P-Boogie* (not feeling so sweet today ;-)

Taking time for ME!

Hi world!

I know it's been a little while since I've blogged. I would apologize, but I'm not really sorry. The conference was a success, but a Sista was soooo tired afterwards. I decided to take some time for me to rebuild physically and spiritually.

During the Lenten season, I've cut back my social communication. Just thought I owed some of you an explanation for the hiatus. This is why I need time to reconnect with myself....I'm always TOO worried about other people. Time to be a little selfish for a change...

See you after Easter!

Smooches!

*Sweet P*

Shaken, but I will not be broken...

I just noticed that I have only had one posting this month. That is a shame. It's conference season again and my life is not my own. Working crazy hours. Putting up with HER. Only seeing my home in the dark. And most of all missing the heck out of Maxwell and Idris (for those of you who don't know that is my bed and my sofa). I hope to spend some much needed QT with my men soon.

I have never been so happy to see Friday!! It's a long weekend and I plan to make the best of it. I've been working slave hours this week and feel so drained. The weather is going to be nice and the taste of the sun from yesterday lifted my spirits tremendously.

Right now I just can't wait until the last day of the conference, March 9!!! This is also Ash Wednesday and the day that Biggie died. Very symbolic!! The old me will die and return to ashes and dust and the new me will be reborn. I have so many plans for spring and summer. Big thangs poppin!!! My birthday, family weddings, dresses and heels, vacations, a half-marathon, flirting and more and more fun in the sun. This will be my focus as I try to refrain from cussing some folks out and losing my job. LOL!

Pray for me....See ya'll after March 9!!

*Sweet P*

I'll take the smell of roses over ish any day!!!

I was just talking to a girlfriend of mine and had a revelation....

We were talking about the song "Treat You Right" by Luther and how we so want a man who will do just that. I told her that it's so funny how we can say this now when for so long we accepted less than we deserved. Ain't it funny how you can smell ish for so long that you just get used to it? Doesn't even burn your nose anymore. Then when it's finally gone and tries to come back around, the smell is so strong you can't even open the front door!!!!

Now the sad part for me is that since I have been smelling the same ish for years and years, my nose does not know how to take something that's not funky. I'm questioning when someone comes around and smells like roses. That's a shame.

I'm just sitting here shaking my head on this one....P, you gotta do better....Appreciate that sweet smell and make sure you water those flowers so they grow girl!

Sometimes you gotta kick yourself in the butt!

Still learning,

*Sweet P*