Very good advice from Oprah...

On the 9/27/10 episode of "Oprah," here is what Ms. Winfrey said to Serena Williams:

Men

"Men want to feel that they are needed and they need to feel important, and it's very hard to do that with a powerful woman. It takes a very special guy to do that."

Love, love, love this statement! There is a great deal that comes with Sweet P. I have been living this fantabulous life with myself for so long and I have learned to do so much by and with myself...because I don't have a choice. When something is broken, I find a way to fix it. When a problem arises, I look to God to help me find a solution. When I need a good cry, I have Maxwell (my bed) to lean on. Having a man that is there with a lending hand takes some getting used to when you are a woman who is capable of so much. Like Oprah says, that special one for me will know that there is more than enough room for him in my life and he will understand (and be grateful) that I can take care of myself....thereby taking care of us. I, in turn, will learn to ask for help and honor his place "our world."

Love

"You cannot pretend to be less than what you are and you are so HUGE. You carry such a big light. You can't go around dimming your light just to be walking around with somebody else. What you really want is to be completely full of yourself, so your cup runneth over, so you can give it to other people. Not in an arrogant way, but that you absolutely own you own power."

Thank you for that Oprah! There is so much that I have to offer and if a man cannot take it all in, then he is not man enough for me. I refuse to settle or be someone I am not for the sake of having a man in my life. I really needed to hear that.

Now I will carry on...

*Sweet P*

The Chilean Miners: And these are the days of our lives....

Okay so here is an update that I just read on the cheating miners:

In addition to the one I mentioned, reportedly, "5 other miners had their lovers there and fighting and arguing went down (off camera of course) about who had a right to be there and a right to any of the fame/riches that came with this rescue." WOW!!! And this is what my homegirl was trying to avoid. Glad she was smart enough to stay home.

Now I am so happy to hear that not everything was full of drama on site:

"1 miner finally got to meet his baby girl who was born right before his rescue. Another met his fiance he proposed to while in the mine. And another got a marriage proposal from his girlfriend--after she turned him down weeks before." Awww! How sweet! That really warms my heart. I love happy endings, even if they are in divorce court.

Can't wait to see what else develops. This is better than Lifetime Movie Network.

I can't stand Russ Parr!!

There has been so much hype in the news about the 33 men trapped underground in Chile, but my main focus has been that they were able to survive this terrible ordeal. Now I just heard a radio personality make a comment that made me furious, and I can't tell him off, so I'm blasting him on here ;)

Okay so a few days after the men were trapped it came out that one of them had a mistress. Her dumb butt decided to come to the site and the wife confronted her. It's amazing how what you do comes to light at the most convenient, or in this case inconvenient, time. Anyway, as time went on a total of 5 men have been busted for cheating. Mistresses why couldn't you just sit home and play the part you were so willing to play for so long??? SMH!!

So the first wife who has been married to her husband for 28 years decided not to meet her husband when he was rescued since the mistress, who he invited, was going to be there as well. He wanted them both to be there when he got out. HUH??? So after 2 months, he is rescued and greeted with open arms by his mistress while his wife is home probably watching "Dancing with the Stars," since she decided not to be there or even watch it on TV. LOL!

Today Russ Parr makes the most ignorant comment that has me livid (and let me say I can't stand this show, but happened to be switching stations and heard this bullcrap). He said that the wife was wrong to not meet her husband at the rescue. WHAT?? WHY??? Why is she the wrong one? This bamma not only was cheating with his old tail, but he did not even show any remorse for it. That's straight up betrayal! She said that she was happy he was okay and that's all she needed to know and when he comes home he needs to make a decision. Clearly with the embrace I saw him give the mistress when he got out, his decision is made.

Now Mr. Parr...tell me again why this wife is wrong? Some women would have been there to push his behind back in the hole when he got out. In order to keep the peace, she made a wise choice to fall back. I applaud her for being a woman of honor because this here woman would have been at the rescue with my punching gloves.

Russ Parr, please just shut up!!

*Sweet P*

Miracles do happen

Well the 33 Chilean men are finally out. Oh happy day! To be underground for 2 months and survive is nothing but the work of God. One of the miners said in a letter, “There are actually 34 of us because God has never left us down here." GLOOOOOORY!!!

Life is short and I will not work it away

I just got a call that a woman I know died suddenly yesterday. I've known her for only a short time, but what I do know is that she was dedicated to the work that she did. She was ALWAYS at work, even when she was sick. If there was something that needed to be done, she was the one to do it and everyone knew her. I honestly have no idea how old she was. I believe that she appeared older than her true age. Working late hours in a stressful environment will do that to you. Another thing to mention, she was single and had no children. She lived alone. She died alone. She was found in her apartment on the floor and who knows how long she had been there. A friend was supposed to pick her up yesterday and she did not answer the door. Very sad...She had a good heart and a good spirit. She gave until her death, even when she had nothing left to give.

She worked until she died and died with no one. I know this sounds depressing, but for me it was a reminder to live life to its fullest. I tend to stress over things at work, work crazy hours, forget to eat lunch at times and never use up my vacation/sick leave. All for a place that when I am gone will send out a 2 sentence email to everyone saying that my work was exemplary and I will be missed by everyone. It's not worth it.

I am happy that this woman will finally rest in peace. This all comes at an interesting time. I believe God is working something amazing in my favor very soon and He is showing me the road that I must follow to live a purposeful life....the life I was destined to live.

Praising Him in advance!!!!!

*Sweet  P*

Introducing my boobies...Coco & Baps ;)

I have 2 very special beings in my life--my breasts. I call them Coco and Baps. They have been so good to me throughout the years and I give back to them by making sure they have the support they need at all times. They reward me by always being perky and happy. Every month, sometimes twice a month, I do a self breast exam to make sure that my girls are healthy. In our community, breast cancer is killing our women (and men) and we can catch the disease early. All it takes is a few minutes of your time to feel yourself up. Heck! I'm sure you do this during the month anyway. Why not make it more worthwhile?

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! A breast self examination (BSE) is to be performed each month in addition to an annual mammogram or a clinical exam. Knowing your boobies,what is normal for you and what regular monthly changes in your breasts feel like, is the best way to keep an eye on your breast health.

Here is your recipe for healthy boobies. You can perform this task solo or with your partner, which may make it more fun, but please be sure to take this seriously because it can change your life for the better.

Difficulty: Easy

Time Required: 15 minutes a month....more if you are doing it with your partner...I would hope ;-)

What You Need:

• A mirror which lets you see both breasts
• A pillow for your head and shoulders
• Privacy

1. Make a regular date for your breast self exam (BSE)

• If you are pre-menopausal: Set a regular time to examine your breasts a few days after your period ends, when hormone levels are relatively stable and breasts are less tender.
• If you are already menopausal (have not had a period for a year or more): Pick a particular day of the month to do the exam, and then repeat your BSE on that day each month.

2. Visual Exam - Hands on Hips

In the privacy of your bathroom, strip to the waist and stand before a mirror. You will need to see both breasts at the same time. Stand with your hands on your hips and check the appearance of your breasts. Look at size, shape, and contour. Note changes, if any, in the skin color or texture. Look at the nipples and areolas, to see how healthy they look.

3. Visual Exam - Arms Over Your Head

Still standing in front of the mirror, raise your arms over your head and see if your breasts move in the same way, and note any differences. Look at size, shape, and drape, checking for symmetry. Pay attention to your nipples and areolas, to see if you have any dimples, bumps, or retraction (indentation). Look up toward your armpits and note if there is any swelling where your lymph nodes are (lower armpit area).

4. Manual Exam - Stand and Stroke

Raise your left arm overhead, and use your right-hand fingers to apply gentle pressure to the left breast. Stroke from the top to the bottom of the breast, moving across from the inside of the breast all the way into your armpit area. You can also use a circular motion, being sure to cover the entire breast area. Take note of any changes in texture, color, or size. Switch sides and repeat. This is best done in the shower, as wet skin will have the least resistance to the friction of your fingers.

5. Manual Exam - Check Your Nipples

Still facing the mirror, lower both arms. With the index and middle fingers of your right hand, gently squeeze the left nipple and pull forward. Does the nipple spring back into place? Does it pull back into the breast? Note whether or not any fluid leaks out. Reverse your hands and check the right nipple in the same way.

6. Manual Exam - Recline and Stroke

This is best done in your bedroom, where you can lie down. Place a pillow on the bed so that you can lie with both your head and shoulders on the pillow. Lie down and put your left hand behind your head. Use your right hand to stroke the breast and underarm, as you did in step 4. Take note of any changes in texture, color, or size. Switch sides and repeat.

7. Tips For Doing Your BSE

1. Mark your calendar to remind yourself to do your BSE regularly. This is a good way to prevent worry if find a normal cyclic change.
2. Stay relaxed and breathe normally as you do your BSE. Becoming tense will produce some knots that you may mistake for something worrisome.
3. Report any changes or unusual pain to your doctor or nurse practitioner. Keep a log of changes, if that helps you remember.
4. Remember to have an annual clinical exam and a mammogram.
 
Now remember that healthy boobies are happy boobies. Take it from Coco and Baps ;-)
 
*Sweet P*
 
**Information taken from the National Cancer Institute.**

Random acts of kindness can hurt sometimes :-/

I was on metro this morning, minding my own business and once again being annoyed by all the men sitting down comfortably while a bunch of women and small children stand and try to hold on for dear life...*rolling my eyes*....when a man punched me really hard on my arm. I turned to look at him like WTF! and he pointed to the dead bug that he killed on me. It took me a moment to realize that he was trying to get the bug and not cause me any harm. He was so proud that he had saved me from this perilous situation, and I was in so much pain, but eventually I smiled and said, "Thank you." He said you are welcome like he was Superman and I was Lois Lane. He had performed his random act of kindness for the day.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Sometimes the good that you do for other people may hurt them for a moment, but at some point they will come to see that they are better off in the long-run.

Keeping it easy breezy,

*Sweet P*

Frenemies....How many people have them?

I just read an article titled, "The Friendship Detox: How to Say Goodbye and Good Riddance." Very good article on how certain "friendships" can be toxic and draining to your life. It’s funny that I came across this because I woke up thinking about some of the relationships around me and how I don't feel like I am getting anything from them. I feel that they take more from me than add to my life. Then there are some friendships that have pulled me from the edge or that have elevated me to another level. The article challenged me to evaluate the company I keep further by asking: 

“Do you look forward to seeing this person, or do you consider it a chore? Is she truly happy to see you, or do you suspect she wants something from you or needs to lord something over you? Will you walk away from this meeting feeling good—or feeling manipulated, demeaned, poisoned, or played?”

Wow!!! I think I just crossed off almost every "friend" on my list :-/

Then she goes on to say...

 “I've had a few such friendship terrorists in my life, and I'm absolutely certain I've been one at times, too, but part of growing up means knowing when to stop playing pretend. Remaining attached to some people is like slaving over a withered garden without realizing all the plants are dead. And letting the negative relationships suck up time and energy only deprives us of the opportunity to nurture and appreciate those friendships that actually do work.”

Wow again!!! Nicely put. I will be stealing that term “friendship terrorists” for myself.

Life is way too short to spend it with someone you don’t like. I do think that in the past I have allowed unhealthy friendships to close me off to genuine people. I didn’t grow up with people that I could lean on, so it has caused me to be my own best friend. It is now at an older age that I have realized that I can’t continue this race alone. That I have people beside me who do love and care about me and wish me well as I do them. I have wasted time in nurturing these friendships because I’ve been mourning too long over the dead ones.

 “True friends bear each other's burdens and accept each other's weaknesses, because without reciprocity, there's nothing. Friendship is about collaboration, not domination. Because we should be stewards of each other's rooms, I am happy to help you keep yours clean, but life is too fleeting to let you continue trashing mine.”

With that said, I’m making some changes in my life today and if you don’t hear from me, you are one of them. LOL!

My life is a puzzle, and you just don't fit!

*Sweet P*

National Singles Week???

September 19-25 (the third week of September) is National Singles Week. You have got to be kidding me?? Whose bright idea was it to give us a week and what is it that we are to do to "celebrate" this time in our lives? And why a week? I'm single 365 days a year. I really think this week was made up by some woman who was trying to embrace her singleness happily. I know that right now, if she's still single, she's kicking herself. LOL!

I'm not mad at the week, just think its stupid. Being single is a journey that cannot be measured by time or space. Some days its wonderful and some days you want to slap the next person who comes and says to you, "I'm engaged!" Basically every single person is in a different place at a different time. No one needs a reminder that they don't have anyone. What's what we have Valentine's Day for....All I'm saying is if you wish me a Happy Singles Week be prepared to eat those words.

Thanks but no thanks,

*Sweet P*

When you let God drive, you get there faster.

I know it's been a little while since I blogged. I miss you just as much as you miss me ;)

Life has been beating me up the past month. I was busy running around putting into other people and things and when I got a moment to myself, I was too tired to put back into me. DRAINED!!! This is why I decided to take off the last week of August for a stay-cation to reconnect with the person I love most next to God....Sweet P. I went to the beach with myself. I took myself on a movie and a lunch date. I treated myself to a day of pampering. I remembered who I fell in love with years ago and rekindled my own flame.

I sit here now remembering the week and it was just a few days ago, but feels so far away. How did I get back to this place of stress so fast? Why do I feel like I need another vacation and I just took one? I'm doing too much work in my life. I'm spending too much time dealing with issues that I have no control over. My anal retentiveness has convinced me that I am superwoman and that I have the power to make all things on earth better. I literally just woke up from that dream/nightmare...It's amazing what you learn about yourself when you open your eyes and be honest. Didn't even know how crazy I was until I just said that. GROWTH!

I am not a super-religious person, but I have a strong faith relationship with God and put Him at the head of my life. Everything I am I owe to Him. He has spared me over and over in ways that are unimaginable. He is the ONLY constant in my life...

MY CONFESSION: I have been treating God like I do people. I push His love away. I don't trust Him at times out of fear of being hurt. I dominate our conversations and sometimes ignore what He says because I don't want to hear the truth. Funny thing is that when I do this, most people leave me alone and the people who love me, know me and just let me be. God on the other hand, He won't allow it at all--no matter what. He stays in my ear, in my face, in my heart. Even now, He's saying, "Finally you get it and I ain't goin' no where."

It is time for me to sit in this passenger seat and let God drive. No more giving him directions! No more asking if He needs me to take the wheel! No more questions about where we are going and are we there yet! No more looking for rest stops! No more interfering with His driving, period! I will be quiet and sit back and ride in style. I am certain now that I will get there faster (wherever there is).

Whew!! That was a tough lesson for me. *tears*

~Sweet P~