Is it okay for your man to flirt??

Okay, I told folks not to play with me or I would put them on blast...

I had a friend and his name was/is Brandon Harris. Yeah I said his name and if he crosses my path, I will be putting all his business in the street. I thought he was a cool guy. We met years ago, but he was too young for me and not what I was looking for in a life-long partner. We remained "friends" over the years though. Occasionally talk or hang out. Nothing serious at all.....So why not be honest with your lifestyle? I spoke to him about my men of interest and he proclaimed that he did not have a girlfriend...nothing going on at all.

Although I had no intimate interest in Brandon, he had a cute little crush on me. Well recently this man has been sending me texts and pictures of a sexual nature. Come to find out that not only is Brandon in a serious relationship with a woman that he has been with for over a year, he is possibly the father of a 9 month old baby by another woman. HUH????

Now let me say this, I could care less about this man. Don't care that he is in a relationship and the scum of the earth. What bugs me is that he is a LIAR! I hate liars. I didn't even want you, so why lie? And if you have a girlfriend why would you send me the messages that you sent? When I confronted him he rolled over like a punk! He apologized and said that he said those things knowing that I didn't want him so it was harmless. HUH? Now that's when I said if it was harmless I can send your girlfriend the messages and see if she thinks its okay (this was merely a threat to make his little butt sweat). He started stuttering. He said, "Please don't. I was just flirting with you."

Flirting? Harmless? I think not. I'm a single woman. I can flirt as much as I want, but once I enter into a relationship that is no longer acceptable. It would hurt my feelings to hear that my man said the things Brandon told me. It would hurt my feelings to know that my man was hanging out with a woman that I didn't know. It would hurt me to know that my man had any interactions with women that he could not have right in front of me. Brandon may think that it is harmless, but what if I had acted on his advances? Do you think he would have denied me? I think not.

Anyway, he has given up his right as a "friend" of Sweet P.

Brandon Harris...DO BETTER!!!

God always pulls me from the edge!

I am finally waking up and checking my e-mail. Just got this message from my Pastor:

Celebrate You!

You need to learn how to celebrate yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and if others do not affirm you then learn how to affirm yourself. The fact that God woke you up and gave you a brand new day should let you know that God cares for you, values you and has placed you on His agenda.

Assignment: Wake up today and thank God for who you are. Specifically thank Him for every unique thing about you. Spend today celebrating the person God made you to be.

RIGHT ON TIME!!!! This changed my whole outlook on my day just like that....I love it when God whispers in my ear and tells me to stop with the pity party and get myself in order. Hair still jacked, clothes still tight, "before picture" still in full effect, but I have on my heels....I will strut through this day, celebrating me, and the "after picture" that I will have tomorrow.

Feeling better already,

*Sweet P*

Just one of dem days...

I've been sick all week and today I feel better health-wise, but really wish I could go back home and get in the bed. My hair is a mess and pulled back because I did not care to do anything with it this morning. I am wearing my glasses because my eyes hurt...I think think they wanted to remain shut and are punishing me for opening them too soon. I was so not going to iron anything this morning, so finding an outfit was a struggle. No dresses or skirts because it is mos def not a cute day for Sweet P--remember the hair and the glasses. I found some pants and a shirt to throw on and now that I am at work, I realize that they are too tight. *sigh*

It is just one of those days....I don't want to hit rewind because that means I have to do it all over again. I would rather press fast forward and advance to Friday at 12:05 p.m. when I am in my car leaving work, heading to the hairdresser to tame this mop on my head.

Well its not Friday yet and I've only completed 1 of the 9 hours that I must give to this job today. I have a long list of things to do, I'm in a funky mood, I look like a "before picture," and to top it all off I have that single woman's headache of loneliness. *sigh* It is throbbing!!! I'm taking something for it though and I'm sure that it will pass. It never lasts long....

By the way, I actually think the cat in the picture looks better than me right now. *double sigh*

Trying to fake a smile for these chatty/chipper co-workers,

*Sweet P*

More reasons...

I was driving home and thinking of a couple more reasons why I'm a good woman/wife....Yes I do have moments where I think highly of myself. Believe me it was not always like this. Good self-esteem is a blessing!!!

Okay so....

11. I am a good listener. I will hang onto my baby's every word. Speak sweetie! I'm taking it all in...
12. I like sports and will watch with you and not ask any questions, but he better be a Redskins fan!! LMBO!

And I also wanted to correct some of my flaws that I listed...

1. I am bossy....But I do know my place when we are in public. Behind closed doors is where Queen B comes into play. Again, working hard on this "Jezebel Spirit."
2. I am opinionated.....But I can agree to disagree. I love a good heated debate.
3. I talk a lot.....At least its never a dull moment with me :0) I also know when to be silent. Sometimes quiet moments are the best and I know how to appreciate them. Tell me to shut up. I won't mind.
4. It's hard for me to accept a compliment.....This goes back to the self-esteem not always being where it should. I'm a work in progress. One day I will see what you see.
5. I'm a neat freak.....This may never change. Good thing is his home will always be clean cuz a Sista won't be able to stay around if its not.

Okay that's all...for now ;)

What makes Sweet P a good woman/wife???

I was listening to the radio this morning and they had men call in to give their opinion on what makes a good girlfriend. Very interesting viewpoints and not all had to do with sex and giving "good head." Sorry to be so vulgar, but this is an adult blog, so....

Well here is my list of what makes Sweet P a good woman/wife:

1. I am a good cook and actually enjoy making special treats for my man. We can have everything the restaurant has with a more intimate setting ;)
2. I am loyal. I'm that ride or die chick that is ready in any and every situation. Call me and I am there!
3. I'm not needy. Don't care to be all up under my man all the time. For example, if he wants to go out with the boys...BYE! I can use that time to hang with my girls OR if he wants to watch something and I want to watch something else...SMOOCHES! I'll be in the bedroom watching Lifetime.
4. I'm supportive. I will be my man's biggest cheerleader in whatever his heart desires. No matter how ridiculous--if it makes him happy, I'm all for it.
5. I'm Miss Independent. This Sista has her own and can say, "I got it. I got it." However, I will allow you to get it and give it as you please. Best believe! LOL!
6. I am family-oriented. I understand the importance of family.
7. I am affectionate....we will leave it at that ;)
8. I am nurturing. I have an innate mothering-side that makes me want to take care of everyone, especially my man.
9. I have a sense of humor. I'm down right silly at times.
10. I am summissive....but only to a man who has my best interests at heart.

I could go on and on, but I will stop there. LOL! Now with that said, I'm not perfect, so there are some things that I know I need to work on like:

1. I am bossy.
2. I am opinionated.
3. I talk a lot.
4. It's hard for me to accept a compliment.
5. I'm a neat freak.

None of those are deal-breakers, but I know that they can be annoying, so I am working on making myself and even better woman by loosening up a bit. I have come leaps and bounds from where I once used to be and I must say this blog has helped me see myself in a different light. Growth is good.

Hmmm. Now let me think about what makes a good man/husband for me....

*Sweet P*

LET'S DO BETTER!!

At the beginning of this year, there was a shift in my spirit. It’s one of the reasons why I started this blog. I have always been a positive, strong woman (at least that is the image I try to give off), but sometimes I am scared and unsure. I think I realized that I don't give myself enough credit for the way I look, the services I provide to the community and how I treat myself and family/friends. I recognized that in all things I could always DO BETTER!

Doing better does not mean what you are doing is not good or right. It just means that if you gave more or put more effort into something or someone or yourself you/it could be AMAZING!! Why be just aight with you can be fierce? Why settle for okay when you can have awesome? Why accept BS when you can receive something fantabulous? Why not take everything in life to the next level of superiority?

So you may hear me say to myself DO BETTER!!! and it could mean....

• I need to stop eating these donuts right now because I know I just had a healthy breakfast.
• I need to stop cyber-stalking Trey Songz because my neighbors don’t know his name.
• I need to press forward and establish my vision of not having to work FOR someone for the rest of my life.
• I need to exercise more.
• I need to stop gossiping about people.
• I need to show my friends and family that I love them every time they are in my presence.
• I need to bite my tongue and let things ride.
• I need to understand that I don't have to have the last word.
• I need to agree to disagree.
• I need to rock those fly shoes and that sexxxy outfit and stop letting them sit in my closet.
• I need to live, love and laugh more.
• I need to DO BETTER!!

With that said, doing better does not end with me. There are so many people around me that I see day to day that need to step up their game. If I can acknowledge my shortcomings and bring myself to a standard, each and every one of us can do the same. I decided to start a new blog to bring attention to people, places, things, etc. that I think can use some improvement.

 

Please follow me at http://letsdobetta.blogspot.com/. If you would like me to put someone or something on blast for you, e-mail me at im.livingsingle@gmail.com.

 

Let’s DO BETTER ya’ll!

 

*Sweet P*

Wooooosaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

Okay so this morning as I was leaving out I cut off my bathroom light and I heard a weird noise. I tried to turn the light back on and nothing happened. UGH!! I was already running late, so I figured I would handle it when I got home. I went the whole day and didn't think about it, which is a huge breakthrough for me. Usually I would spend the day trying to figure out my plan of action and stress over how I had to remove the big painting blocking the breaker and shut off the power. Today, I didn't think about it until I walked through the door and had to use the bathroom. UGH!!! Okay so I move the big heavy painting, shut off the power, take out the power switches, figure out where the problem is, do the rewiring, cut back on the power, test the lights and YAY it worked. Cool...so now I take the time to put it all back in place and cut the power back on and NOTHING!!!! I was this close to tears and just had to step away and sit down. I missed the gym, haven't eaten yet and soon it will be dark and I need light to fix this thing. There is no time to cry and no one to call. I'm tired of being electrician, plumber, carpenter, and EVERYTHING!

I can't take it! OK I am giving myself 5 minutes to cry and then I'll go back in there and try to figure it out.

It's times like these that I wish....Wooooosaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

OK 5 minutes starting now...

*Sweet P*

Good Man #1: Alex Williams

In my post on 4/22/10, "I only date Black men. It's my prerogative!" I stated that I would start spotlighting good black men on my blog. This month I’m putting my bro Alex Williams on blast. I’m a little biased about him being a good guy since I've known him practically all his life, but I'm not the only one who sees how special he is, so it must be the real thing.

I knew that I wanted to interview Alex when I had the idea, and he immediately said yes without hesitation. I kept trying to plan a time for us to meet and have the interview, but it never seemed to work out. One day on the humble Alex calls Steph to go to breakfast and I'm sitting in the car relishing in the great workout week I had. She asked me to go and my thighs made me shake my head NO, but then Alex gets in my ear with the peer pressure and forced me kicking and screaming to eat delicious french toast and BACON!! (Side note: Every time we said the word bacon, we applauded LMBO). Anyway, I guess some of the best conversations and interactions with folks can’t be planned because this time spent with my sis and brother from another mother was PRICELESS…

Sweet P: Tell me 3 things about you that even your closest friends don’t know.

Alex: Hmmm....(5 minutes later)...Hmmm....Can you come back to that one?

Sweet P: Sure, but understand there are no passes...You can’t run from me. (Winks) Okay so moving on...Can you tell me one quality about yourself that you don’t like?

Alex: (After chewing BACON!!...Applause) I can be very selfish, but I have a heart for being self-less, but it has to be very intentional with me. It’s not a characteristic that I just have. I see people who are very giving. Who are very loving and it’s with ease that they can serve people. For me, I have to consciously decide to be a nice person. (I give the side eye. Alex laughs) I have a heart for serving the poor and serving God’s Kingdom, but it’s a clearly intentional thing for me to make a decision to choose to be that way. It’s not an innate drive that I have, but I choose to be Christ-like and Christ-minded in my giving back and service.

Sweet P: I bet you may be giving too much credit to those folks you think are “self-less.” They may be just as selfish as you are, but don’t admit it. In my opinion, I think you may be too hard on yourself. It takes a special person to be able to give to others when they don’t feel like it. Doesn't matter what moves you or pushes you to act, the fact remains that you choose to do it. Some don’t. (Kanye shrug) Okay, so now on to something juicier that inquiring minds want to know...Tell me three attractive traits about a woman outside of appearance.

Alex: (With no hesitation) Alright #1 is humor. I love to laugh and I love a woman who can just be silly and let go sometimes and not be so serious all the time. And also who can take my silly quirks cuz I’m a silly dude.

Sweet P: You are!! (Loud laughter)

Alex: Not the AMEN corner. (Laughs) You were like, “Yes, yes, he is!” (Laughs) I love to laugh and she has to be able to laugh also. Secondly, driven. Someone who is ambitious and has goals in life and are making steps and strides to achieve those goals. And I would be just as supportive of her and would hope she would be with me in my pursuit of music.

Sweet P: It’s funny you say driven because there are a lot of people who see this as a negative quality for a woman.

Alex: Not at all! Matter of fact, she can make so much more money than me, and I could care less!

Sweet P: (High 5-ing) Love that!

Alex: I want someone who has their own thing going on and we can bring both our worlds together and make it work. That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! And #3, she has to love family. I have an extended family that I love to hang around and I would hope that she would have the same and really be about family coming first. After God, but before career and everything else.

Sweet P: Well which of those three is a deal breaker for you? She has these two but, not this and it’s a WRAP!

Alex: Honestly, humor. If we can’t laugh together…cuz we are gonna have to laugh through some situations. There are going to be times when we may not be financially straight or the kids are acting crazy. We gotta be able to laugh.

Sweet P: Laughter is good for the soul...She sounds like an amazing woman...She sounds like me. (Madea smile) Now, I think I know the answer to the next question, but I’ve never asked you before, so...What is the one moment in your life that shaped you into the man you are today?

Alex: When my mother died. That changed my whole outlook on life. It changed my perception on things. Before she passed, it was all about parents just want you to get your degree and if you do that you get your good government job and blah blah blah, but my mother had some dreams and goals that weren’t met prior to her passing and it opened my eyes to want to live a life that I feel is satisfactory for me. A life that I feel has purpose and that I was able to pursue and chase the dreams that I want. Whether it comes to fruition or not, at least I can be happy with the fact that I did try. Not to negate education because you know I didn't finish school, but at the same time school was no longer Priority #1--it was living a purposeful life. And for some you need school to do it and for some you don’t necessarily need it. I think education is important and all that good stuff, but for me I think God had a different path, and so again that situation just literally opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking of things.

Sweet P: Woo woo woo...Ok now back to my first question. Can you NOW tell me 3 things about you that even your closest friends don’t know?

Alex: Okay three things. I know most artists get nervous before they perform, but I’m definitely nervous and I'm not one of those people who tremble. I just get a shortness of breath and sometimes it’s kinda hard and I really have to focus on my breathing when I’m performing so I don’t pass out.

Sweet P: (Laughing, but alarmed)

Alex: I’m joking. I’m joking, but that's one most people probably don’t know about me. I’ve seen myself perform and I don’t look nervous, but I really am.

Sweet P: You don’t look it at all. You would never know. Interesting...

Alex: #2 would be, yeah, I have the Simpson’s Sings the Blues record and I still listen to it. “Do the Bartman,” “Nothing but Trouble,” yeah, I still listen to that so...I’m not ashamed of my game…

Sweet P: (Laughing hysterically...but Alex is so serious)

Alex: And the third one is that I always eat my desert before my meal.

Sweet P: Why do you do that?

Alex: I don’t know. Having something sweet after eating a salty meal…I don’t like that. I like sweet then salty.

Sweet P: Okay cool. Now for my final question. I get tired of answering this, so now I will put someone else on the hot seat. Why do you think you’re single?

Alex: Cuz the woman I want don’t want me. (Looking sad while eating a second helping of BACON!!...Applause)

Sweet P: (Laughing) You sound a little bitter there.

Steflova: (Adding her 2 cents) Tell ‘em how you really feel son! Tell ‘em how you really feel.

Alex: Beyonce just won’t return my calls… No, I’m kidding.

Sweet P & Steflova: (Laughing really hard)

Alex: Are you still recording?

Sweet P: Yuup! ROTFLMBO!!

Alex: (Now trying to take me seriously) I don’t know. I just haven’t found that combination. I’m not looking for perfection, but with the divorce rate being almost 60%, I definitely want somebody who has some major qualities that I desire. I can work through some stuff, but I am not willing to compromise. I would like to enjoy a long-lasting marriage, a healthy marriage, a loving marriage, and it’s a process to find that person.

Told you he was one of the good guys... ;-)

Alex is currently working on a gospel CD that is going to be AMAZING, so please support him in his efforts. To learn more about Alex and get information on how you can purchase his new single, “Everybody Needs a Hero,” please visit http://awmusiconline.com/.

R.I.P. Walter Hawkins

• Marvelous by Walter Hawkins

More Walter Hawkins music on iLike

Mr. Hawkins, thank you for blessing me over and over again with this song. Out of your body of work, its the one that constantly reminds me of the sacrifice that was made for me--the sacrifice that I from time to time take for granted. I cannot listen to this song without shouting Hallelujah!! Thank you for your ministry, your service and all the lives that you have touched. May your soul finally rest in eternal peace.

Singing... "Every battle already won. I can't help, but praise you Lord for the marvelous things You've done!"

*Sweet P*

A testament of unconditional love...

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Read article.

I just read this article and watched this video and had to share this true testament of unconditional love. In a day and age where men and women are breaking up over trivial matters (e.g. She gained weight and I'm not attracted to her anymore or all he wants to do is watch TV and I want to go out) it warms my heart to see a couple stick it out even when they are faced (no pun intended) with such a horrific battle. His beauty was not measured by the way he looked and her loyally to her husband was measured by the commitment that she made when she professed, "Until death do us part."

How many of you can say if your partner was met with the same condition, you would hang in there with them to the end like this wife?

This is the love I patiently wait for...

*Sweet P*